A Journal From a CNA
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Ongoing6m
Last published Sat, Apr 17, 2021
When I, at sixteen years old, decided to become a CNA, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't think I would be used as a vessel from drug smuggling in a facility that ran as an undercover drug cartel. I didn't know I would be groomed by the person I looked up to most within my workplace and gaslighted to the point that I would begin to think I was crazy. I didn't know I would walk in on dead bodies, attempted murders. I didn't know I would watch my residents, once so full of life, wither away to ghosts of the people they once were. Maybe it was the trauma that made my job so undesirable. I was too young to know any better. The memories still haunt me at night.
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"I'm what you call a psychopath, ever since that day, I craved the feeling of hurting someone, up until I was fourteen, when it happened. Every time I hit someone, I craved more, until I saw blood, I wouldn't stop, keep doing it, until the person couldn't move, and I would watch, as the person became more helpless, and I wouldn't be able to stop the grin on my face, I would love every single second of it, and only after the trance, I would realize what a sick person I was, for loving the pain I gave, then I would cry, until my body shook and no more tears could come" I look into his grey eyes "And I'm scared, scared that one day I might lose myself to this other side of me, scared that I won't be able to pull out when I was in, that I would lose every emotion I have, I would lose my dad, my brother, my best friends" Tears brim my eyes "Scared that I might lose you" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kai Winters River Morales A demon meets his superior, It's not what anyone thinks, It's more, Will fear get in the way of everything, Or will understanding be the foundation of something to come? What made them this way? Hold on tight, there's a storm coming, and you have no idea what it is... Warning: Stromg language is used. Don't say I didn't warn ya.
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