Why I have trust issues: phan
  • Reads 111,700
  • Votes 5,074
  • Parts 25
  • Time 49m
  • Reads 111,700
  • Votes 5,074
  • Parts 25
  • Time 49m
Complete, First published Nov 18, 2014
Phil Lester has been bullied for years and when he is diagnosed with chronic depression it starts to go downhill.
But could the new boy prove to be the light in an otherwise dark world?
Read to find out.

Trigger Warning:
contains scenes of abuse, graphic violence, self harm, depression, bulemia, anorexia and other triggering things
All Rights Reserved
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Depression//Phan by bluetroyee
19 parts Complete Mature
(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!) Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep. He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them? What did he do to deserve any of this?? His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew. But one day, would people push him over his limit? Would Dan be able to save him in time? © 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Smile, Dan cover
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10:05 ~ Phan Highschool AU cover
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Brotherly love (phan) cover
voices | phan au cover
Outcast ✧ Phan cover
Insulted / Bullied By Dan and Phil cover
Things Change cover
Depression//Phan cover

Smile, Dan

30 parts Complete Mature

DISCLAIMER: This story is mature because it will have some self harm in it. It will also have some swearing due to that's how Dan actually talks. This is not about Phan being real. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Now onto what it is really about: Dan Howell is becoming more and more depressed. His family, his community, not even his best friend, Phil Lester, can help him. He believes he's a lost cause, and he's a mistake. He tries to hide it best he can, but some nights, it's just too much. During this, he's lost his will to smile. He'll fake smiles for videos and pictures, but he's lost a reason to genuinely smile.