Into a malfoy's mind

Narcissa made her way to the top of the staircase and her head began swimming as she grabbed the wall to steady herself. She hurried into the washroom and flung her head over the toilet bowl, waiting for the contents of her insides to spill out of her mouth. She wanted them to. She heaved for a moment, but the toilet water remained clear, untainted by the guilt she wanted purged from her stomach. She felt disgraceful. A single tear stained itself on her skin as it ran down her cheek and dripped into the toilet, a drop of black dispersing through the water from her mascara. She stood up shakily and gripped the sink, avoiding glancing into the mirror. She saw the bar of soap sitting in the holder on the edge of the sink. She remembered many years ago when she would make Draco suck on it when he said swear words in her presence. She wanted to put it in her own mouth, but she knew that would not make her feel any better. The words she said to Hermione Granger, and later to her son about Hermione Granger, tore her up from the inside. She had no cruel intentions toward muggle-borns, and pretending to be so hateful to another human being, especially one as pretty, level-headed, and bright as that Granger girl, made her wretch.