Damp patches on my wall!

proximity to you

gives me chills

in my bones

and creeps me out.

is that what they say

intimacy

or fear of it

is this you?

or all of it , is me?

growing up I saw love in camouflage.

it was always hidden behind those harsh words

behind hurt and bruises

like thorn and roses.

nobody was very comfortable

about expression of love.

and I grow up thinking,

that's how it should be.

when you love,

you don't talk about it

love is unspoken words

love is unsaid expressions

love is unmentionable.

love is not an essential element

to be spoken about

it is not important communicate

or comprehend

you don't waste words

in saying it.

but now, that you said those words

and I don't know how to respond to it.

no, I feel it. I do

but I never learned how to say it

for some people this might be like a storm

but for me, it's like

damp patches on the wall inside my apartment

after heavy rains, it always gets wet.

moisture spreads across the wall, slowly

a slow invasion of my unexpressed love

for all the people, I loved.

It haunts me, it is invisible.

but it makes me feel its presence.

and gradually, it fills the entire wall with damp patches.

it weakens the wall eventually.

it feels cold inside.

It gives me chills

It freaks me out!