Penis Doodles On The Bathroom Walls Of Impermanence

So, gumawa ako ng Wattpad collection kasi baka mamatay na'ko bukas.

I don't know if masyado bang self-indulgent to digitally publish a collection like this; three years of writing, and I still could not validate my self as a writer. The impostor syndrome still lounges with my low-esteemed pen. And sometimes, he's in the mental form of the Palanca awardee, Peter Solis Nery in his pink suit, bragging to me na saka niya lang tinawag na 'writer' ang sarili niya noong naka-earn na siya ng millions through his writing.

I have never earned millions from my writings. I did earn some readers though, and in the comments section of a blog page now dead, they once said to me, "I really like your writing." Perhaps, this is a love letter to my self who keeps listening to Palanca awardees, reminding him that my low-esteemed pen once danced and made someone smile.

I was inspired by Albert Camus's Lyrical and Critical Essays, a collection of his first literary works. He helped silence the PSN in my head by saying, "at twenty-two, unless one is a genius, one scarcely knows how to write." which is literally saying, "It's okay if your writings don't earn millions at twenty-two." By the way, Camus is a Nobel Prize awardee in Literature (so, who you? 'yang Palanca award mo ngayon).

The works presented here are collected from my blog page that ran for two years including some na sinulat ko sa account na 'to. I went back to that silent graveyard of a shitposting disaster. I unearthed the coffins of my dead dreams, looking for anything precious that I could salvage.

Now, I present their dead bodies, again. The little darlings of my flights of fancy in a glass casing-this time with a copyright, this time with a pretense of a 'book'-but still with their original intention; to capture a moment in a bottle, to make something mortal, immortal.

You will now behold the penis doodles I childishly scribbled on the bathroom walls of impermanence, proudly telling you all, "I was here."