Ordinary girl? I think not!
  • Reads 394
  • Votes 66
  • Parts 46
  • Time 4h 41m
  • Reads 394
  • Votes 66
  • Parts 46
  • Time 4h 41m
Complete, First published May 10, 2021
Mature
Day 1
Dear Diary,
Hey it's me again I am not really sure what to say. Okay scratch that I wanted to say, guess what? I know that I might be going to church and doing my regular alter serving thing. I know that I am getting closer with the people that help out with me. I know that they are good people, maybe even my friends but I know that in the end I will hurt them. And they might hurt me before I can. I know that I don't want to but I did 10 years ago. I don't wanna do it again. Today is the first day of the Carnival my friends are here to pick me up which means I have to go and put my wig on to cover up all my white (born with) hair. Oh before I go one more thing this is day 1 of full on depression. Day 1 of bottling up my emotions. Day 1 of putting walls up and not letting and anyone see the real me cause lets be honest I am not an ordinary girl!
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Cold Water by adaline_meadows
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!