A Is For Adam...

A Is For Adam...

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WpMetadataReadComplete Mon, Jan 11, 20161h 15m
He was the best and worst older brother. I thought I'd never be able to say, "hey, you turned out to not be a complete douche". His smile was the best, his influence changed my world. His death knocked me off balance. he died for a monster named Heroin, and I'll never forgive him completely for it. Yeah, miss him? Tons. Never forgive? Possibly. At the moment, I don't know what to think. That's why I'm trying to sort this shit out. I'm going to find forgiveness somewhere, but he'll have to work for it. Dead or alive.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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