PTSD
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"I don't remember much, But he did it when i couldn't do anything, i was helpless, i was only 3 years Old.". Flashback hits me like a hard stone came flying against my face.
I see his dark hair I see his blue eyes look at me and show no regret and no apology ever came out of the awful mouth.
I blink myself back to the present and try to give him an answer.
"I do not remember much," I repeated.
"I remember, uhmm his touches" I took a deep breath before continuing "yeah his touches I remember as it was yesterday" it came out lower than I expected but he had heard it his face pressure said it all.
"His uhm .. touches." I started to gasp for Air when I felt the oxygen trying to escape from me. "His touches have .. never misplaced me, every time someone touches me..." "I only see his eyes looking at me and his big hand grabbing me."
I blinked countless times to hold back my tears. "He has ruined my love life, what he did is never something I can forget. No one can ever touch me that way without his face appearing as a picture in my memories. "
"Who? You still haven't told who." He said angrily very angrily.
"I can't say" came out as an whisper.
No matter how much I wanted I can't.
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#68
truma
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Unmask
"You trust me, don't you?" he says with a smile, that smile. It had fooled everyone, even me at some point, and for the first time I want to scream with rage and shake the earth to the core. "Give me a hug," he says pulling me out of the chair that feels like a rock underneath me. I am as stiff as a board as his hands circle me, making me feel worse than dirt. His hands reach between my thighs and I want to plunge a knife deep through his chest. The only thing stopping me is, the knife is no where near. I pull back and I don't try to hide the anger in my eyes. I want him to see it. To know that I am coming for him. Rape is chanted repeatedly in my mind, reminding of the lies I just told and the false accusations I am throwing on innocent people. He's probably figured it out anyways, surely a Priest as high as he cannot be deceived. But none of that matters anymore because...... This is just the Beginning.Kumpleto
Scars
"If I risk it all, could you break my fall? How do I live? How do I breathe? When your not here i'm sufficated. I wanna feel love, run through my blood. Tell me is this where I give it all up? For you, I have to risk it all, Cuz the Writing's on the Walls." This is a story about a boy and a girl. She loves him, and he want's her dead. But he vowed to keep her safe..But how can he keep such a dangerous vow? *EXCERPT FROM BOOK BELOW* "Our story is like the movies. The movies with the happy endings?" I yelled as he got out of the car. "No! Our ending is nothing like those movies Vana. Our story is the both of us risking it all and then ending up right next to Kyle." He said and sighed. And he was right. Our ending is that one fucked up movie that no on wants to go see. "SO YOU AREN'T WILLING TO RISK IT ALL!?! I yelled louder as the rain came pouring down. He turned on his heal and stomped twords me pulling me close to him leaveing no space between us. His lips came crashing down on mine making the butterflies in my stomach errupt with pleaseure. He pulled away and sighed as did I. He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over the knuckle of my thumb over my tattoo thanks to his stupid game of dare or dare. "Look at the perspective of things Vana. You might see a smily face but I don't. I see a sad face. You don't want my happy ending. Trust me." He said and sighed again. "I love you so much Vana." He said and kissed the top of my head and then walked back over to his house. But he didn't really love me. If he did he would be willing to risk it all just like I am. But I am left just like Kyle had suspected. Alone and heart broken in the rain. Because I was always the one willing to risk it all. For him.Kumpleto
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionKumpleto
Hearts In The Shadows
Unable to resist any longer, I closed the distance, pressing my lips gently against his. Our pace was slow at first, but then he lost control, and his kiss became rougher, more urgent. He pulled me onto his lap, straddling him. "Has anyone touched you here before?" Blake broke the kiss, his voice impossibly low as he lightly brushed his thumb across my hardened nipple. Ripples of pleasure coursed through me, and my groin began to throb, my underwear soaked with desire. My breath hitched from his touch, and I shook my head. He let out a light growl and pinched my nipple harder. "Has anyone touched these before?" he repeated. I whimpered, "No... no one but you." Blake let out a deep growl and kissed me roughly again. I was consumed by him. I tore my lips from his to suck in a much-needed breath. I could feel his arousal straining against my leg, his breathing heavy. _______________________________________________________ My name is Elara Whittingham. I am seventeen and have magical abilities. That may sound amazing, but my life is anything but sunshine and rainbows. You see, my parents are wanted criminals. They seek power and magical items to enhance their power to take over the world. As for me, I'm their only child and a disgrace to them as I don't agree with them. I've refused to use my magic around them for them. And suffer the consequences. One day, I build up the courage to run away and meet someone who helps me get into a magic academy, where my life begins to look up. I make friends, create enemies, and fall in love. Professor Blake Wade. Not only did he save me, but he is everything I could ever want or need in life. Without him, I don't know what would have become of me. But my life's not that easy. What happens when my past begins to catch up to me? When my lies began to crumble? When the truth of my identity is finally revealed? Will everyone I love still accept me?Kumpleto
Apocalypse: The Healer's Story
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up in a body that wasn't yours? I can't say that I had ever given it much thought. That was until one night when a patient entered the ER where I was working at and shot me point blank in the head. You know, if he wanted a second opinion, all he had to do was ask. But that's besides the point... Some how, some way, I work up in a strange hospital with a woman that looked suspiciously like my mother holding my hand and crying. Over joyed to see her, it took me a few minutes to realize that I was no longer the 25 year old, successful doctor at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the world. Nope, I was a much, much younger... You might know me as the Healer, but this is my story to tell. WARNING!!! This will turn into a reverse harem where she does not have to pick. Mature Content, Trauma, and Vulgar Language on Board. PS. You don't need to read "Apocalypse: Third Rebirth" to understand this story. But still recommended to read it 1st, before this. For those who already read it... The "Ranch" you all looking for in that story will be explain here. Enjoy!Kumpleto
The unreachable mountain
"You're unbearable!" He kicks her with utter contempt. "Please tell me where I'm wrong, causing you discomfort was not my intention," she said crying, causing him to hit her against the ground again. "Do you think you can live with good intentions? Didn't you have all the time you wanted to change and learn? You still dare to ask for more!" He yells at her with hatred, he blamed her for being the one will cause a woman to be beaten; He didn't want to be that kind of man. However, what he lived with her caused him to bring out what he hated the most about himself from within. -Forget it love- said a woman who was next to her- it's not worth it- this dog was supposed to be her friend, she was supposed to support her just like she did; however he managed so that he and she hated each other and thus be able to steal it. The woman on the floor does not know how much she was framed and harmed by her naivety, nor did she know that this was the beginning of her misfortunes. Because of that woman she did not stop suffering, wherever she went she suffered verbal or physical abuse and everything was orchestrated by this woman; she didn't know until she was about to faint. "Why?" She asked this unarmed woman without knowing why she hated him so much. She never did anything to hurt him. She just laughed viciously without answering him, she didn't have to waste her time with an insect; leaving La to die imprisoned in the house where she was kidnapped. "Answer me!" She got up from her bed screaming "Eh? This looks like my room; Did I reincarnate myself in the past?" She ran to the bathroom just to see that her assumption was correct. She thanked the heavens for this second chance by promising that she wouldn't be fooled a second time.Kumpleto
Look What You Made Me Do
"Don't tell anybody about this." "If you just ignore it, it'll stop." "There's nothing I can do to help you." And so I did everything I was told. I shut up. I put on a brave face. I followed all the rules. But that was the past and it's not who I am anymore. I will be loud. I will be angry. I will tell the truth. Look what you've done. You gave me a story to tell. ----------------- Unfortunately, a true story. DISCLAIMER: This is my side of the story and, with the exception of a few voicemails/text messages/statements from friends, it all comes straight from my memory. As is the case with most PTSD brains, my memory isn't very good so I can't 100% confirm the accuracy of anything, but it is written almost exactly as I remember it. If anyone reading this happens to know something I don't, feel free to let me know. ----------------- Thank you for reading. ----------------- Dedicated to Sketch, and Toto, and Dr. Worm, and Mia, and anyone else (real or imaginary) that I loved, but they hated.Kumpleto
~Just A Teenage Dirtbag~
Wren is a depressed, anxious, and as her mother and sister say 'worthless' sixteen year-old, until she meets Rook, and it feels like she's actually being seen. In Rook's arms the world seems right, but what happens if she never lets him in....and what happens if Rook were to disappear... ~~~ He looks back at me, watching me study him. I look away, its now my turn to study the horizon. I can feel heat blooming on my cheeks and I can feel his eyes taking in every bit of my face. I feel his finger softly touch my cheek. I jump a little, and he lowers his hand. "Sorry" He says softly, I can see his guard going back up. "No its fine-I just....wasn't expecting it." I say, swallowing. Did I really just say that? What was wrong with me.... Suddenly I had this urge to take his hand and put it back on my cheek. I flushed at the thought. This was getting so awkward. I looked up at him. His eyes seemed cold, calculating. I couldn't say I liked this, but then his eyes softened, and the unimaginable happened. His hand materialized, tucking a stray piece of my hair behind my ear. He was so focused on the strand, but then his focus spread to my eyes, the look in his eyes. Jesus, I'm going to melt. He was looking at me like his universe surrounded me, like I knew the answers, like I could fix his cracks. The worst part was....I could see the exact same on his face as he could see on mine. ~~~ #2 in military #827 in anxiety #22 in separated
"You trust me, don't you?" he says with a smile, that smile. It had fooled everyone, even me at some point, and for the first time I want to scream with rage and shake the earth to the core. "Give me a hug," he says pulling me out of the chair that feels like a rock underneath me. I am as stiff as a board as his hands circle me, making me feel worse than dirt. His hands reach between my thighs and I want to plunge a knife deep through his chest. The only thing stopping me is, the knife is no where near. I pull back and I don't try to hide the anger in my eyes. I want him to see it. To know that I am coming for him. Rape is chanted repeatedly in my mind, reminding of the lies I just told and the false accusations I am throwing on innocent people. He's probably figured it out anyways, surely a Priest as high as he cannot be deceived. But none of that matters anymore because...... This is just the Beginning.
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