Sanity Is Overrated: A Compilation of Satire Short Stories - Nova Hatter - Wattpad

Story cover for Sanity Is Overrated: A Compilation of Satire Short Stories by brain_damage_

Sanity Is Overrated: A Compilation of Satire Short Stories

Reads 37
Votes 1
Parts 3
Time <5 mins

Reads 37
Votes 1
Parts 3
Time <5 mins

Mature

chaotic comedy dracomalfoy euphoria fanfiction harrypotter riverdale robertpattinson satire

WARNING: THIS CONTENT WILL BE CHAOTIC, GORY, AND VIOLENT PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION THIS IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY WARNING. (there will be no mentions of r**e, SA, SH, or physical disorders. Any jokes about mental health will be an exaggerated projection on the characters as this is compilation of satire stories. That being said no mental issues should be taken as a joke, this is just me making fun of fictional characters on wattpad. Any actions y/n makes is based on the "pick me" cliche and not because of any real life issues.)
SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE:  Brain glitches, a psychological evaluation, the urge to stick your head in the oven,  rashes, choking and in extreme cases:horniness.

Welcome to my cult. Let's begin.


Also if you know me..... No you don't. Keep scrolling:))All Rights Reserved

chaotic comedy dracomalfoy euphoria fanfiction harrypotter riverdale robertpattinson satire

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His Fantasy: A Drarry Story by gazingnightsinlove

What if the boy who lived turned out to be gay in secrecy? A boy's gotta have fanaticises right? Fanaticises about sex with a firm, hard, hot body of a man? Man with certain blonde hair, grey eyes, tall, lean. His fucking nemesis Draco Lucius Malfoy. To control the urges, he has a habit. Harry Potter writes smut. He writes about his sex fanaticises about Draco Malfoy in a diary. He calls it his sex book. It's a secret book. No one knows about it. And no one EVER should... that's until Draco Malfoy is assigned to he his roommate in the 8th year. "It will go down two ways, either he'll fucking hurt me Or he'll fuck me." What if they are down to fuck? What if Harry's fanaticises come to life? TW! Sex Drugs (probably idk?) Self harm (mentions) Pornography (throughout the story) Choking kink and stuff. I will update the TW's I haven't even started writing. I will make up the story along as I go. This is JK Rowling's shit. I'm just manipulating it into porn 🤌🏻

healing ✓ by dracosfirstwife

"he's yours?" "he's adorable, isn't he?" "not as adorable as draco malfoy being a father." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a drunken mistake left draco malfoy with a son at the young age of twenty. he's struggling to heal with his trauma from the war, as well as raising a son alone. harry potter took in teddy lupin, his godson, after andromeda tonks fell seriously ill. he's also struggling to heal from his war-caused trauma, but he took teddy in regardless. when teddy unfortunately befriends scorpius malfoy, an unexpected friendship forms between harry and draco. raising kids together, and healing together, the two men end up being more than friends. but healing isn't easy. post war teddy is born two years after the war started: november 27th 2022 finished: november 11th 2023 WARNINGS: ABUSE, EATING DISORDERS, MENTAL HEALTH THEMES, VIOLENCE, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE the story is set in this generation. harry potter is part of gen z. most characters belong to jk rowling but the plot is mine :)

₊snapchat⁺ ϟ drarry by verdilac

(COMPLETED) °dracomalvoi : pansy are you up °dracomalvoi : you won't believe who potter talked to earlier °harryjp : malfoy? " DRARRY SNAPCHAT AU " + I N F O S ❏ portrayed by fancasts that aren't the original actors ❏ my username was 'vloedemort' ❏ all characters belongs to j.k. rowling ❏ contains profanities ❏ always vote along whilst you read, please. i see u lol - started : 13/10/17 ✰ finished : 30/12/18 ❍ highest rankings ° #20 / #socialmedia ° #1 / #snapchatau ° #1 / #drarry ° #1/ #hp ° #5 / #snapchat ° #30/ #harrypotter © verdilac / vloedemort / mitha anind / 2017

Roommates (Drarry) by lorcans-love

"Yeah, um, I..." But the lingering effects of Felix wouldn't let me lie. "I do. I really like you." "Not platonically, then." "Not platonically." "Well, that's lucky." He said. "Because I think I really like you too, Draco Malfoy." "If this is a joke," I began, not believing my ears, "then get lost and I never want to talk to you again. If it-" "It's not a j-" "Let me finish, Potter. If it's not a joke, then shut up and kiss me already and stop stalling." -------------------------- Draco and Harry are back for an eighth year of Hogwarts to finish their NEWTs. Unfortunately, there aren't many eighth year students, or extra dormitories, so they end up sharing a room... Disclaimer: almost all aspects of the Wizarding World belong to J K Rowling, including most of the characters, Hogwarts, NEWTs, etc. Cover art belongs to @midgaardian on Twitter No smut - nothing ever goes further than kissing. Ranked: 🥇(major tags) #1 on gay 18.7.21 #19 on romance 18.9.21 (HOLY- idk how this happened?? but tysm) 🥈(big tags) #1 on harrypotter 30.4.22 #2 on malfoy 18.7.21 #2 on dracomalfoy 6.7.21 #2 on gayromance 7.1.22 #3 on drarry 6.7.21 🥉(smaller tags) #1 on eighthyear 4.4.21 #1 on drarryfanfic 11.9.21

Trust Me (Drarry) by SmallFrenchCar28

"Do you trust me?" "With all my heart." ***** What if it WASN'T Ginny Weasley who sent Harry Potter a musical Valentine in his second year? What if a simple prank sparked a special friendship, or even something more? But the relationship is more fragile than glass, threatened by emotions, darkness and enemies drawing ever closer. Will it survive? Or will it shatter under the pressure of war? And let's not forget that Valentine's Day still comes around every year... ***** First published: 14/08/2014 Completed: 09/03/2020 Highest ranks: #38 in Fanfiction (20/12/2017) #13 in Drarry (23/02/2020) #215 in LGBT (12/06/2021) #1 in Harry (03/01/2022) #1 in Valentine (27/08/2020) #2 in Prank (19/01/2021) #4 in Angst (02/03/21) ***** "Love this chapter. Well, love any chapter. This book is amazing!" ~ @Rikke95 "THIS IS THE CUTEST AND MOST ADORABLE DRARRY FANFIC EVER! AND I REALLY LOVE HOW THIS ALL FITS TO THE ORIGINAL STORY! THANK YOU!" ~ @psychopathfangirl ***** I don't own Harry Potter, any characters, or the pictures on the cover, but this is MY story so I hope you will appreciate that and not replicate anything that doesn't already belong to JK. I will be taking aspects from the films AND the books, but not all events will be exactly the same nor in the right order to fit with my story. I can't promise regular updates - writer's block (a LOT!), social life (not so much), work (up to my ears), etc. Nevertheless, hope you enjoy! :-) OCCASIONAL TABOO LANGUAGE, MILD SEXUAL REFERENCES AND DARK THEMES - VIEW AT READER'S OWN DISCRETION

One Night - Drarry by gazingnightsinlove

Harry gets caught in a attempt of suicide with the last person he expected to see in the Room of Requirements after the fire incident. Draco Malfoy. "I'm a mess." Draco said "I think that we're both a mess." Harry replied and looked into the beautiful set of eyes. smut central and a LOT of sad emotions, if you feel like crying or something. I think ima add some fluff too. Read to find out more ;) NEITHER HARRY NOR DRACO WILL DIE IN THIS STORY! (I hate stories where they kill off one of the main characters.) 6 are there with more than 1300 words (each) PS, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHRACTERS AND THE COVER ART. I ALSO SUCK AT Synopsis LOL ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ *eating disorder *abuse of all kinds *colourful language usage *Self harm *depression *smut *LGBTQ+ community based((so homophobics please stay away, i hate people who use words like fag and shit, DONT YOU DARE READ THIS , i love and live by LGBTQ and i won't let anyone harm this beautiful society! )) ALSOO, i am not very good with spellings of certain magical things that i WILL FIX but please bear with me .

complicated | Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott by proseccoproblems

They only have each other and they will go to sacrificing lengths to protect one another. As each of them face the consequences of their parents actions throughout the largest wizarding war they also face the challenges that come with being teenagers; mental health struggles, unrequited love and strained friendships. Half-Blood Prince| Deathly Hallows | Post War Warnings: Mental Health, Sexual Content, Alcohol. ~~~ It's never black and white. It is always grey. That's what people don't understand. Life is always more complicated than it seems. ~~~ "You two are bound to one another. You always have been ... and you can't run away from what you are. No matter where you go, your feelings are going to follow you."

just an online crush - 𝔻ℝ𝔸ℝℝ𝕐 by phififo

《 c o m p l e t e d 》 One late afternoon, after plotting with Pansy, Hermione and Ron decided to steal Harry's phone and change most of his contacts' name. That included Draco's. Harry starts to trust and confide in the contact renamed 'Prince'. However, Harry soon realises that 'Prince' has a crush and Draco was starting to catch Harry's attention. Story is both in text and story form, but mostly story form ----- This story takes place after the Wizarding War, 8th years had to return to rebuild the school and retake their NEWTs. Snape is magically alive because he faked his death, let's go with that. Also contains many inaccuracies that does not match up with the original books '･ᴗ･' The starting sucks, but it slowly improves :) (hopefully) *TRIGGER WARNING* Some parts may include suicidal thoughts, suicide, cutting and strong language. Viewer discretion is advised. Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters. All characters belong to J. K. Rowling from her Harry Potter series. ----- Highest ranking: #1 - dracoxharry ( 04/07/20 - 08/07/20 ) #1 - drarry ( 10/07/20, 04/08/20 ) #1 - lgbt ( 07/08/20 - 08/08/20 ) #1 - lgbtq ( 07/08/20 - 08/08/20 ) #2 - harrypotter ( 15/08/20 )

𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗬 ━ book two by endearingholland

- 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 ꒷꒦꒷ ⁀➷.. 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𖤐₊˚ ☆彡 ꒰#𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑩𝑨𝑩𝑳𝒀 𝑺𝑨𝑰𝑫 𝑨𝑻 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑷𝑶𝑰𝑵𝑻꒱ ❝𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘰, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴?❞ ❝. . . 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺?❞ ❝. . .❞ ❝. . .❞ ❝𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥. 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸.❞ ♡⃕ 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 i continue to make y'all laugh with incorrect drarry scenarios.

WRAPPING CHAOS - Finished by Mirabella_29

Draco Malfoy is a fucking arse. A magical delivery error causes all the gifts ordered by Draco and Hermione to be sent in the wrong place. To her great misfortune, her erotic potion books and sex toys land in Malfoy's hands, who takes great pleasure in mocking her. Bloody Hell, if she could bury herself alive right now, she would. ______________ I've had a few ideas pop into my head for the Christmas holidays, so here's a little surprise for you. Just a quick heads-up: writing smut is a real challenge for me-I cringe every single time, haha. I wrote my first one not long ago, and I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I posted it. So, please be kind! English isn't my first language, either. Sending lots of good vibes your way, and... happy reading! A special shoutout to my friend and beta, Posie.rosie.daisie, who took the time to read my work, even when I wanted to hide behind a cushion, and who advised me to keep a bowl of water nearby to help ease the pressure... Your unwavering support, your feedback, and your comments always bring a big smile to my face.

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Slide 1 of 10

His Fantasy: A Drarry Story cover

healing ✓ cover

₊snapchat⁺ ϟ drarry cover

Roommates (Drarry) cover

Trust Me (Drarry) cover

One Night - Drarry cover

complicated | Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott cover

just an online crush - 𝔻ℝ𝔸ℝℝ𝕐 cover

𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗬 ━ book two cover

WRAPPING CHAOS - Finished cover

His Fantasy: A Drarry Story

What if the boy who lived turned out to be gay in secrecy? A boy's gotta have fanaticises right? Fanaticises about sex with a firm, hard, hot body of a man? Man with certain blonde hair, grey eyes, tall, lean. His fucking nemesis Draco Lucius Malfoy. To control the urges, he has a habit. Harry Potter writes smut. He writes about his sex fanaticises about Draco Malfoy in a diary. He calls it his sex book. It's a secret book. No one knows about it. And no one EVER should... that's until Draco Malfoy is assigned to he his roommate in the 8th year. "It will go down two ways, either he'll fucking hurt me Or he'll fuck me." What if they are down to fuck? What if Harry's fanaticises come to life? TW! Sex Drugs (probably idk?) Self harm (mentions) Pornography (throughout the story) Choking kink and stuff. I will update the TW's I haven't even started writing. I will make up the story along as I go. This is JK Rowling's shit. I'm just manipulating it into porn 🤌🏻