Fear, Food, and Self-Loathing

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Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 56
Votes 0
Parts 3
Time 9m

Mature

anorexiarecovery borderlinepersonalitydisorder bpd brave bravetogether bulimianervosa eatingdisorder fear insecurity mentalillness mentallyunstable relationshipproblems selfloathing sickgirl tics

I had a long conversation with my partner about my personality and how much I truly do hate myself and don't really know what to do. This really is as piece that would belong in "Other Diary Entries" but because they belong together and were part of a specific experience, I've decided to give it it's own spot.

I broke down everything into the 3 parts "Fear, Food, and Self-Loathing"

Fear is about my fears of opening up to others, how I'm afraid of losing my partner over my issues in the long run, and my health complications that are lately becoming more severe and dangerous to myself. 

Food is about my eating disorder. My body may look recovered but the mentality and unhealthy relationship I have with food and eating. This is not just how I feel about it, but how my eating disorder effects my relationship and the challenges we both have in navigating it.

Lastly, Self-Loathing is really just that. It's me crying in the keyboard while listening to Cane Hill about the bits of my personality that I can't find a way to consistently control that drive me crazy and attribute to my constant state of shame and embarrassment.All Rights Reserved

anorexiarecovery borderlinepersonalitydisorder bpd brave bravetogether bulimianervosa eatingdisorder fear insecurity mentalillness mentallyunstable relationshipproblems selfloathing sickgirl tics

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