Between Two Lords

You just wanted to get back to your hotel, after spending time with your family. On your way back you seem to get lost, your gps won't work anymore neither does your car.
You're are completely stranded, you come to face the thick woods, searching in hopes of finding a sort of shelter in them.

But what happens when you meet a mysterious cunning man with a hammer and a vampiric woman extremely over average height?

(Warning: Mature Content)