The Aging Time Lord

I hear the sound. It's beautiful and magical at the same time. I pull away from the doct... him, and watch as the blue box fades away. I feel a hand enclose itself into mine.
"Did you... he, really mean that?" His eyes look down at mine. The face looks like the Doctors, but everything seems different, then how it was those months ago.
"I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't true." He bends down and whispers in my ear, "Allon-sy."

I feel like everything in my life came crashing down, then back up in a second. I got back to the Doctor, then was told I had to go again, due to my "death" in my real home. I risked everything for him, even almost gave up my mum for him, yet, he still tossed me back. When I look at this new Doctor, I see him on the outside, but don't know how I will learn to see him on the inside. I loved him, and he apparently loved me too. I just don't know what to do.