Story cover for Absolutely ridiculous pickup lines by negativecreep__
Absolutely ridiculous pickup lines
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    Parts 1
  • WpHistory
    Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Nov 26, 2014
Girl, my love for you is like Diarreah, I just can't hold it in.

 Girl, did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Cause you look magically delicious.

Girl, are you a parking ticket? Cause you   have got FINE written all over you.

Girl, do you have any raisins? No? How about a Date?

Girl, if you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning.

Girl, you're like a fat stump.  I'm falling all over you.

Girl, if you were a fruit, you'd be a FINEapple.

Girl, are you my appendix? Cause I don't understand you but this feeling in my stomach wants me to take you out.

Girl, do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?

Girl, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Girl, want to test the spring constant of my mattress?

 Girl, let's convert our potential energy into kinectic energy.

Girl, that dress would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8  m/s/s

Girl, you must be made of beryllium and barium because you're a total BaBe.
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I wished for a Boyfriend not a Girlfriend (GxG, Lesbian) °editing°

38 parts Complete Mature

I was awakened by a buzz, but I don't want to get up, instead I lay still on my bed and about to dream again when I heard a THUD, I flinched at the sound. It's Saturday so I'm not expecting anyone at this early in the morning. I'm not a morning person, I am now annoyed to whoever it is. "Coming!" I yelled and started walking which took me sometime because I literally took my time, don't blame me I'm still sleepy, I opened the door to see a very beautiful woman, she has long wavy hair, thick eyelashes and pink pout lips and lastly... a body to die for. I frowned when I realized a high-school student? I can say because she's wearing a uniform. What is a beautiful high-school girl doing here knocking at my door? I asked mentally. I was about to ask her when she suddenly slipped inside my condo and sit on the couch cozily, I crossed my arms and face her still frowning. "Miss what are you doing here? What do you need?" I asked her curiously. She looked at me and smiled, a smile that can make men drool, but I'm not because I'm still annoyed. "I am your girlfriend" she said sweetly, my eyes widened in shock, I know I'm drunk last night but I don't remember having a girlfriend. I was about to say something when she stood up and face me leaning so much closer that were inches apart. "You wished for me, last night on the internet" oh crap! Now I remember! I was browsing the net when a certain ad captures my attention. "But I wished for a BOYFRIEND! Not a Girlfriend!!?" How do you handle a situation where there's NO REFUND and NO EXCHANGE? Copyright © 2014-2022. Manila, Philippines. All rights reserved.