"Pacing my room, it was as though I was devoid of all emotion, a numbness built up inside of me and I couldn’t break free from it. From experience, I knew the only way to feel something was to feel pain, to feel alive. I needed something, anything, I could get my hands on, but then I’d have to go out there. And I didn’t want to go out there. These four walls were the only thing keeping me stable in a world so full of deadened hope of worth."