Hey... I-I'm Oliver. But my friends would call me Ollie. If I... had any friends. Today I turn 16... which means I get to go to my soulmate ceremony. I-I've never had a girlfriend or anything before... so I hope I get a cute one, at least. I g-guess we'll have to see. AN: GUYS this iz not satire!!!!!!!!¡!!1!! I just wanna show off my soft uwu baby boy finally get a big strong boyfriend !!