Madison - ✿ Hazel - Wattpad

Madison

Reads 72
Votes 22
Parts 24
Time 1h 10m

Reads 72
Votes 22
Parts 24
Time 1h 10m

artist church depression diary disorder ed edrecovery freshreads friends highschool journal life lifegroup music musician ocd stayalive summer support teen teenager teendiary teenstruggle texttospeech weight youth

Since for three years restrictive EDs have consumed her life, Madison (now a senior), whose identity was long built on her perfect grades, achievement, superiority, and body, must rebuild and reorient herself before adulthood drops. (And it's possible; she's at last fully committed to the cause and on her way. This is just a testimony to that.)       

      This is one of Madison's journals, providing a 30-day glimpse into a vital stage of her ED recovery process from the moment she became open to letting go of weight and restriction as sources of esteem. It opens at her lowest, most pivotal point and progresses as she does.

      But old habits provide comfort, and so Madison does fall back into them but continuously reminds herself why she is bothering to change: because there is a life for her worth living--now and ahead.(CC) Attrib. NonComm. ShareAlike

artist church depression diary disorder ed edrecovery freshreads friends highschool journal life lifegroup music musician ocd stayalive summer support teen teenager teendiary teenstruggle texttospeech weight youth

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Release by FeelMyBreath

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.

Appetizer ( wattpadprize14 ) by michelebaci

I’m not a fighter in the traditional sense. I will suffer first, and sort out the pain later. But I don’t give up. I grew up in a bubble of privilege, while all I’ve ever wanted to do was live underground. Everything started early. The name-calling pushed me into becoming anti-social. I spoke exclusively to my worst best friend and the alternate persona in my head. I spent years like this, feeling completely alone. I convinced myself that I didn’t need other people. I would become smarter than them, reading and studying. I would find my own fun, watching late night TV and going to concerts. I wasn’t just sad. I was depressed. And the reason seemed insignificant. It all started over the loss of some playground boyfriend. I tried to be anorexic, but instead I wound up eating more. I wanted to stay asleep and avoid the tragedy that replayed in my head everyday. I was sick of the world I was in. I wanted to commit suicide. One day I heard a song on the radio that introduced me to a new genre of music. It was an electric shock to my system, and suddenly I had a reason to go on living. I discovered that melancholy was perfectly normal. I understood that I had the power to change things, and navigate my own future. Appetizer is a memoir of extreme social anxiety. It is approximately 350 pages (78,700 words). I have also written an extensive outline, detailing each chapter. Appetizer chronicles the anguish that many have experienced growing up, while emphasizing the importance of never giving up hope. The story offers solutions in not being able to relate to your peers, or anybody else for that matter. By reading Appetizer, I hope to help people feel less alone, and gain a more empathic understanding of humanity as a whole.

The Twisted Mind by marvelousmayam

"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?

Dear Ana, by IAMpandax

"I fell into darkness but I didn't mind, I liked it." Amy Adams thought everything was alright, but when she heard her very best friend Rose committed suicide, her world turned upside down. Amy couldn't understand, why? But Amy found Rose's diary at her wake and everything became clear. Rose was anorexic. Rose wrote about her two guardians Ana and Mia, they helped her, or something. Amy didn't understand a thing, but not for long. Because Amy would also meet her fate with the two angels of death. Just like Rose. Amy has a hard time fitting in after her only connection to a social life left her alone. Amy get's lost and tries to save herself. But how can you pull yourself out of a hole where you can't see the edge? Amy does make new friends and she even falls in love but everything is on the verge of falling apart. How does she plan on keeping her 'new habit' a secret? and when will Amy really understand?

Skinny Love.. by LittleWitchyVibes

This story is about Mia Smith she is a normal teenager or so she thought. But with her struggle with Anorexia and Bulimia. Her depression and cutting she tries to brighten up her friends life even tho she can't brighten her own. So join in on her journey with Life,Love,Fights,Friends and most importantly Skinny Love

The Crazy Girl by spearr_

Sarah's your average girl, or that's what people think when they see her. She's always been kind of an outcast - always been different. So when she starts showing symptoms of of Anxiety, she isn't surprised to find out she has OCD. At least she has a label for it, right? Luckily she had her friends, the family with no judgment inside. But what's gonna happen now that she's getting ready to start High School, and she won't have her friends there at school with her. The panic attacks just keep coming and the compulsions only get worse throughout the Summer. Sarah starts to wonder if she could ever find happiness again. With music being the only thing reminding her how to smile, she comes up with an idea to bring her family together again. Start a band. See the story of a crazy girl named Sarah, and follow her through her journey of change, and overcoming it. This is the story of a girl with OCD, and her extreme love for music.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

Altered by LuellaOpal

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

I'm A God Girl by AmethystAnonymous

I thought to myself, I could not possibly be the only teenage girl out there who wants to grow deeper and stronger in faith. I could not possibly be the only teenage girl out there who is struggling in living the Christian life. There has got to be other teenage people out there who can relate with what I am going through. So I had this idea of posting this for people out there to see. This is not a devotional. This is more like a faith journal. How and what I write here is like how I write in my notebook that is just between me and God. Only, I'm sharing it with you.

A Faltering self by SarahJessicahBethany

A life that before felt normal, the recent changes in Madison's life seem to be both giving her hope of a future she longed for, and one she's fearful is turning into a waking nightmare. The more she tries to hold on to stability, the more things seem to shake in her life. She's slowly unraveling as things from her past reveal themselves. Memories, old loves, even older friends, how have these pieces of her life simply been locked away? Why? She's not sure what to think, and even less sure who to trust. It's just the beginning of a longer journey for her. One she will have to be careful of where she steps and who she allows herself to fall into.

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Slide 1 of 10

Appetizer ( wattpadprize14 ) cover

The Twisted Mind cover

Dear Ana, cover

Skinny Love.. cover

The Crazy Girl cover

Falling Apart cover

I'm A God Girl cover

A Faltering self cover

Release

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.