letters to you, elias.
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elias was origianlly an alias for the boy i liked, but it evolved into a character, and then into a place in my heart; for anybody, really. eventually, that boy i liked became an asshole to me, and, for as much as a masochist i am, it rubbed me the wrong way. currently, we are barely friends, and i wish to keep it that way.
yet, the alias, the character, the space in my heart remains.
alas, a book about my feelings; romantic feelings in general. wether it be for my partners or for fictional characters. ive said too much.
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an exquisite catastrophe.
what they had was real; honest, devoted, palpable love. the one that transcended distance, differences, and obstacles. the kind that was meant to be written about in books. thinking of it filled my chest with longing for something i don't know if i'd ever be able to find.
I didn't want to be in love with him. I honestly didn't want anything to do with him. But somehow, he had always managed to re-capture my heart. It was unfair. btw i am no longer updating this book and it's not finished sorry
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