My Mental Illness

My Mental Illness

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Jun 20, 2021
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Poetry
Every night, I tell myself I'm not going to do it. And every night, I feel it take over: the irresistible urge, the search for imaginary and real blemishes on my body, an outward release of swirling anxiety. Every night, I lose an hour or more of my life. I do it when I'm bored, when I'm anxious, and many times for what feels like no reason at all. Coming to terms with mental illness is complicated, and over time I have learned to accept that this is my "thing." In my mind, everyone has their "thing," the one thing they hide from the world. Mine just happens to be picking at my own body until I'm ashamed of myself.
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#431
addiction
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Dim.

Tired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. With my ways it's hard to keep down anything healthy, relationships that don't last but stay with me like my own personal demons. And evil around the corner you'd never see coming. The pain changes you. Trauma changes you. It strips you away from yourself. BPD strips away your identity sometimes I guess this is my way of finding myself again, through writing and reflecting and realizing it is okay to be hurting. This book will include poetry and scenes and think pieces. It will be vulnerable. It will be raw. It will remind you of your own loss. - "She." Xx🥀xX

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