Gave up

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-_-

I gave up today.
A sudden rush of depression waved over me tonight and I just gave up. I still can't believe and understand why people love and or care about me I have never been something something ever. So why some people are still here I have no idea. I rather have no one love me at all that way I can damage my body and look down at myself and do whatever the fuck I want, and no one would ever give a damn.

I smoked another cigarette tonight and I don't really regret it and also I stole 3 more from my dads pack and don't care. The only thing I regret is that people do love me and one in particular will not be very happy with me he might actually realize how worthless I am and leave me like the rest. Wouldn't that be nice that way I would hurt no one else and no one else will hurt me.
I'm a worthless piece of shit and maybe one day everyone will realize it and leave.