It is almost horrifying to accept the truth that I could provoke so much torture onto my own body. And without having anyone instructing me to do what I did, they did not take my hand and walk me threw it. I did it all on my own. It's unbelievable the resources one would venture towards, in order to feel nothing, in order to make themselves numb. I ventured there, once upon a time, a time that still continues to root deeply in my mind.