UNTOUCHED

"Silence.

That's what I heard climbing down the staircase with tears in my eyes

Yes he said " he was sorry, he shouted after me telling me to come back.
He even went as far as to grab my hand, and he held my face in his hands, he said " it wasn't what i thought it was. That it just happend, that it was the first time . That maybe if i had told him i was ready the night before non of this would have happend.

He said that it just happend that she didn't mean anything and had never meant to hurt me like that :

Hurt - a verb , to cause pain or injury or harm- a adjective to physically injur.

But thats what this felt like, like he stabbed my heart and left me to bleed
Like he silently wrote me a letter telling me how i wasnt enough. Like what i gave him was never enough
And now he thought his lies could make me heal. That just maybe if he was lucky enough he'd also relief his guilt .

I was numb .

The whole house smelt like them .
And I could still see her when I closed my eyes . Wrapped in those black sheets that we use to cuddle in the where he'd tell me his secrets and I'd tell him mine the very place we were sitting in before we had a argument.

Then I ran , I ran out the house .
Everything was blury, but i remeber thinking maybe i was the problem
I didnt give enough.

Then I saw bright lights and hurd him scream at me to stop from the door way.

Thats when the car hit me
Thats when I was him run to me regreat filling his eyes and tear stain his face thats when he realised what he lost and how it might never becoming back. But thats the thing i keep on coming back I keep on reliving this mess. I can't live if he refuses to let me go"