Funny Jokes - Poppe - Wattpad

Story cover for Funny Jokes by Emma_Poppe

Funny Jokes

LECTURAS 77
Votos 4
Partes 1
Hora <5 mins

LECTURAS 77
Votos 4
Partes 1
Hora <5 mins

When it comes  to candy bars, the term fun-sized  is misleading. There is nothing fun about your candy bar being ⅛ the size of a regular bar. You should call them what they are:  “disappointment-sized.”

Looking at your textbook and thinking... What a waste of trees!?

Hitting your hip on a corner and thinking you've been shot!

Dear Microsoft Word, I am pretty sure i spelled my name correctly.

What do you mean 4 minute shower!? It takes me 4 minutes to get the water to the right temperature!

If you wake me up by turning on all the lights, there's a 100% chance that I have 10 different ways to kill you!

I do what I want, whenever I want, Wherever I want, with whoever I want....... If my mom lets me.

Dear teacher I talk to everyone. Moving my seat will not help.

I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.

When I'm bored nobody texts me but when I'm busy... BAM still, nobody texts me.

Ways to die: Steal my food

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K.- Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge

School- 1+2=3Homework- 1+2+8=11Test- If Timmy had 8 apples and gave away 2, calculate the Sun's mass

Teacher: Must Be 3-5 SentencesStudent: Yea, I'm only writing 3...

Not sure if my parents wanted kids or slaves...

That awkward moment when you are yelling at someone and you mess up a word and it ruins the seriousness.

5 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matter.

What is it called when your crush likes you back.......... Your Imagination

Don't lie... We all stand in the shower and make the water run down our arm so it looks like water is shooting out of our fingertips.

Waking up from a great dream and trying to fall asleep again so you can continue the dream...Todos los derechos reservados

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mié, dic 3, 2014

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Hunter de EvilynRonan

This is it. He's going to die, and I'll be free. At the last second, he moved, and I was suddenly pinned up against the wall, the silver dagger now in his hand. He pressed the blade to my throat, a sadistic grin creeping across his face. "Oh, Reese," he purred. "Are you in trouble now..." He leaned closer, his lips brushing my jaw. I inhaled softly. "Please," I said, my voice shaky... *** In a world where the human population has been overrun by all manner of supernatural entities, defiance is met with death. Humans are forced to be living blood bags for vampires, test subjects for witches and warlocks, and the slaves and servants of werewolves. Reese Hearne remembers the time before. When supernatural beings hid in the shadows, afraid to show their faces to the world. The time before Hunters became the prey, before they were tracked down and killed. Every last one of them. Except for Reese. Fueled by a dark past, she wrecks havoc across the supernatural world in Toronto, armed only by stakes, a silver dagger, and a lust for revenge. Then she kills the younger brother of Elijah Randon, Toronto's Alpha, the Alpha of the largest pack in North America. And he is not one to forgive easily. Then again, neither is Reese. *** "Unfortunately, Little Hunter, I have my own game to play..." ---- #1 in alpha - March 07, 2022 #1 in desire - March 10, 2022 #1 in generalfiction - December 7, 2022 #1 in hunter - May 31, 2022 #1 in matebond - May 5, 2022 #1 in revenge - March 13, 2022 #1 in resistance - March 03, 2022 #1 in magic - March 19, 2022 #2 in lust - March 11, 2022 #3 in teenfiction - July 6, 2022 #3 in mates - June 10, 2022 #3 in paranormal - March 07, 2022 #3 in love - March 07, 2022 #3 in vampire - March 07, 2022 #6 in romance - March 07, 2022 #10 in werewolf - March 07, 2022

Petty SideChick : Curvaceous Woman de kiruhime

Beautiful is weighing under 130lbs. Attractive is having the perfect hour glass figure. jealousy is watching your 128lbs best friend cries about being fat while your sitting on your couch eating chips adding to the fact that your already weighing over 170lbs I should slap her. I should slap her for talking shit, I should slap her for being inconsiderate of the actual fat girl sitting in this room. "I am so ugly!" she cried while studying her perfect hour glass figure in the full length glass. No, I am. I huffed passing by her to grab my self a soda from the kitchen. "I have zero time to put up with your drama today" I honestly told her. While sulking in my own emotions. ~ Kameala face a struggle of low self-esteem, self loath and seasonal depression due to her weight. She wasn't lucky enough like other curvy girls to live a normal teenage life, instead she was torn, broken and ripped to pieces before she entered adulthood. Now kameala is a grown adult who still can't move on or grew up from her past but when circumstances and faith gave kameala another chance she tries to change her pitiful life. Like a Phoenix kameala soar just when everyone and everything gave up on her. She soar above her self and her circumstances. ~ "You're not fat. You're a curvaceous woman" His hot breath send tingles down my spine and his lips that was lightly grazing the tip of my ears erupted a contagious wave of goose bumps on my skin. "Curvaceous" I mumbled, I like that. A wattpad novel. Chapter 1-5 edited 12/23/2019

CAPTURED BY HIM (Book I: Captured series) de caffeinatedwriter05

UPDATE!! BOOK II: BOUND TO HIM IS NOW AVAILABLE!! NEW CHAPTER POSTED EVERY THURSDAY!!! *** It was supposed to be a simple trade off with her father but only it wasn't so simple. Not when they both were attracted to each other on levels they didn't understand. *** "What were you thinking was going to happen tonight?" I question, trying hard to conceal the surge of surprise she's brought on to me. She leans in closer to my face, her voice a seductive whisper "A one night stand". What the fuck? Is she trying to play some kind of a game with me? Because it's working, she keeps surprising me and I couldn't hate her more right now. My hand reaches out to grab her face, my cool skin feels uncomfortable over her warm cheeks. She leans into my touch, green eyes fixed on mine. "As much as I'd like to do that, I have an agenda for tonight" I pull my hand back unwillingly. "What agenda?" She looks at me as if I have grown another head. "I'm going to be honest here, I'm not taking you to have sex with you. This is a kidnapping" *** WARNING! CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEX SCENES, VIOLENCE! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

Our Own Summer. de fwjoogie

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The Satan's Eve (Completed)✔ NOT EDITED de Sheewrites_4fun

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My Best friends Ex de jess221199

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At the End of the Day de goldmelanin17

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The Mad House Is Where I Belong de felicityderos

I like inflicting pain. Not on others but on myself. Some people would call me depressed but I'm not. If anything the pain makes me happy. I started "self harming" at the mere age of nine. Or at least, that's what she called it. My therapist, I mean. She ended up giving me a life time supply of antidepressants and some shitty advice. I'm now eighteen, rotting in jail, and awaiting my death sentence. This is my story and if I'm quite honest, you don't want to hear it. +++ awards: ➵ Winner, Short Story Category, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 ➵ Overall Winner, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 status: ➵ started - 19/08/17 ➵ finished- 07/11/18 note: ➵ Please don't copy me. I don't appreciate it and will block you and report you. No writer likes to be copied and neither do readers. Readers want something which is unique and original.

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Hunter

This is it. He's going to die, and I'll be free. At the last second, he moved, and I was suddenly pinned up against the wall, the silver dagger now in his hand. He pressed the blade to my throat, a sadistic grin creeping across his face. "Oh, Reese," he purred. "Are you in trouble now..." He leaned closer, his lips brushing my jaw. I inhaled softly. "Please," I said, my voice shaky... * In a world where the human population has been overrun by all manner of supernatural entities, defiance is met with death. Humans are forced to be living blood bags for vampires, test subjects for witches and warlocks, and the slaves and servants of werewolves. Reese Hearne remembers the time before. When supernatural beings hid in the shadows, afraid to show their faces to the world. The time before Hunters became the prey, before they were tracked down and killed. Every last one of them. Except for Reese. Fueled by a dark past, she wrecks havoc across the supernatural world in Toronto, armed only by stakes, a silver dagger, and a lust for revenge. Then she kills the younger brother of Elijah Randon, Toronto's Alpha, the Alpha of the largest pack in North America. And he is not one to forgive easily. Then again, neither is Reese. * "Unfortunately, Little Hunter, I have my own game to play..." ---- #1 in alpha - March 07, 2022 #1 in desire - March 10, 2022 #1 in generalfiction - December 7, 2022 #1 in hunter - May 31, 2022 #1 in matebond - May 5, 2022 #1 in revenge - March 13, 2022 #1 in resistance - March 03, 2022 #1 in magic - March 19, 2022 #2 in lust - March 11, 2022 #3 in teenfiction - July 6, 2022 #3 in mates - June 10, 2022 #3 in paranormal - March 07, 2022 #3 in love - March 07, 2022 #3 in vampire - March 07, 2022 #6 in romance - March 07, 2022 #10 in werewolf - March 07, 2022