Are We Terrified of Who We Are or Who We Will Become?

I've lived in an endless and mindless cycle day in and day out for the past 19 years, worrying about things that I couldn't control. Some would say that's the anxiety or depression coursing through my veins, and I'd say otherwise as I've never spoken to a therapist nor seen a doctor about these thoughts. They dance around in my head whispering to the internal monologue that wants me to think and talk about the saddest points in my life. When asked if I'm okay the truth never ceases to exist as the courteous thing to say back, a positive response as they're not really looking for the honest answer.