all in my head

all in my head

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Fri, Oct 29, 202124m
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i wrote all if this to try to make sense of the mess that was in my head after high school, and through the first year of college. it's mostly about how endings lead to beginnings, but also how the way those endings affected the beginnings. in this anthology, there are some parts that describe how i had to end a friendship that meant so much to me with someone i thought i knew. after that ending, i tried to start something new with someone. i thought it was going well because it felt right and it felt fantastic, but of course it wrecked me in the end. there are also some parts that are miscellaneous to the theme of those two people, but the miscellaneous parts are still about stuff i went through during this period of time. apparently everything i thought i had with the two people previously mentioned was.... all in my head.
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"But you said! you told me you love me!" I yelled at her tears streaming down my face. She looks at me and shrugs smiling, "I didn't mean it. I was just playing around. Wanted to know what it was like. And you know I love him." "You wrote it! 'If I love you was a promise would you break it if your honest' it was a promise! you can't break a promise!" I sob out clenching the end of my shirt tightly. "How old are you? Fucking 10? Promises are made to be broken. At least I'm being true to staying honest. Wake up y/n, this is reality. I'm not even gay! I was just curious." She says rolling her eyes. "So you chose me to play with? To hurt? You think my feelings aren't valid just because I'm a lesbian? So you play with my feelings! You're just a selfish bitch! I fucking hate you Billie!" I yell unable to control my emotions anymore. "Okay? Well if that was it, I'm leaving. Brandon's waiting for me in the car." She says with a laugh. I look up to met her ocean eyes filled with amusement and accomplishment. I look at her with disgust and walk away. Away from her, hopefully forever.

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