Brain Under Siege
- Reads 235
- Votes 14
- Parts 13
Ongoing6m
Last published Fri, Dec 5, 2014
For 9 years my family and I have been in a hell that shouldn't be experienced by any living soul on this earth. I had my first relapse of mental illness symptoms when I was four years old. For a month I couldn't walk of eat. When I was four I used to say "mommy I just want to eat". I saw bugs in my food, I was basically mentally unstable. After a month I somehow got better without treatment. But in August of 2005 I was taken to the city of steal to get s diagnosis. On that day was the day I was diagnosed with PANDAS disease.
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"Treasure what're you doing awake by this time". I heard my mum voice trailing behind. I shivered,I knew perfectly the rules of not being awake by this time. I would only get scolded at and maybe my phone seized. But it's not really my fault for wanting a distraction from my messy life. I just couldn't take it anymore,I was tired of thinking of my life I was tired of blaming God for the circumstances before me. Sometimes I feel like a burden and sometimes I wished I was never born. Life is cruel and learning from you mistakes doesn't count anymore. I have been told about how things would be fine by my mates. Encouraging words to keep me going, but it's simply not working. I would have committed suicide but I don't want to put my mum through that pain. She is my most favorite person in the universe. "Tress I'm talking to you. What are you doing awake?" I could feel my mum presence right behind me and dare not move. "Mum I just woke up and was just scrolling through Facebook sorry". I said after waking up from my trance. "You know the rules,no phones at night. Don't make me believe you have a boyfriend. Goodnight and put off that phone. Mum loves you. Goodnight Tress". "Goodnight Mum,sorry for breaking the rules. It won't happen again. I love you too". I smiled at her and watched her leave. I was actually texting my boyfriend.. Thank goodness he didn't call tho. That was really close, didn't want my mum to worry about me....
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