Pain

I cry myself to sleep at night, then go to school with a "smile" on my face. I sit alone at lunch. I would rather not socialize because the more people I know, is just the more people I'll hurt. I had an amazing boyfriend, and he was perfect, I mean completely perfect for me. He's super cute, treated me right, we loved each other. I still love him, so I broke up with him. I have my reason(s).

I have depression.
I'm not clinically diagnosed, that's probably because I'm such a fantastic actress. I think about killing myself everyday. I honestly don't see the point of my existence. People around school and stuff have asked me if I'm "okay" everyday, my sister yells at me about it asking me why I "have a stick up my ass", and my dad makes subtitle hints that he's noticing I'm never happy anymore.

I want to feel happy again (no matter what it takes).