Words Can't Express Why

!!WARNING!! This story contains graphic things such as:
Anxiety
Anorexia
Depression
Language
Self-hate
Suicidal thoughts
(I wrote this piece at the end of high school and into the first semester of college. I am doing better now, so no need to worry!)

(references for the feelings)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr16eHb4YNU&list=LL&index=2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek0sABh_9os&list=LL&index=3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjHqybUt0GQ&list=LL&index=7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X3Y5QxajoA&list=LL&index=8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVxFg3yrGPM&list=PLGwBaGSDvMuh9v4k3GUkJXprcDhgjmdeL&index=6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM6gq4txvcc&list=PLGwBaGSDvMuh9v4k3GUkJXprcDhgjmdeL&index=13