What We Left Unsaid
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Amazing isn't it? Humanity. Great feats and yet massive falls. Holding up prides, airs, and glory while hiding such interesting stories under their beds they lie in. I hate being human.
I fell so hard I didn't know where I was. You became my everything and it consumed me. You scare me because I am a broken piece of glass others think is steel but you can see my cracks and can guess what I feel. Why did it have to be you. I don't get it. One day I'm going to explode and God help me when I do.
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"The reason I am defensive is because I am waiting for you to push me away, waiting for you to say you don't want me. Not just in the moment, like dont want me period. I am thinking when I don't respond, and those thoughts are eating at me from the inside out."My voice falters and I can feel it crack as I continue.
"That's why I act crazy because I am thinking every way it could go wrong. I'm already thinking about the glass below and the ashes from the bridges I burned. I'm waiting. Tell me..." I sob into my sleeves. A million pounds off my chest, I feel my body take a deep breath. I forget what's it's like to breath when I'm suffocating. A kind of half laugh slips from my lips. I can breath when I'm broken.
Hilarious how we all are prophetic in our words of wisdom and how to be "healthy" when our ideals are the black goo coming out of our cracks and crevices of the room we never use except for pictures. The pictures of a perfect life. The room isn't used for anything else because you can't live there. There is no life in your perfect world that you preach of, only death. The sun is rising now and he is still looking at his feet in the gravel off the road where we stand.
"Hazel..." he trails off in his deep voice. He still doesn't look up.
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#207
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