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"Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality." - C.S Lewis

No description just read 🙃

" Pain change people, it makes them trust less, overthink more, and shut people out" "You are only given one chance to live don't mess it up just change the course of your life if things gets bad because your life is worth living for"

i've always carried my anger with me.

read and find out🧍🏾‍♀️..

****ALL CREDIT TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER OF MY BOOK COVER**** The voices in my head tell me it's okay. They say I'm allowed to hurt myself. I'm allowed to create paintings on my skin with razor blades. These monsters in my head are my friends, not my enemies like people seem to think. I don't have a mental problem like my father seems to think. I'm not a freak like my brother thinks. And most importantly, I'm not dead. Why am I not dead? I deserve to die. I'm not worthy of the breath that fills my lungs. I should be dead. But I'm not. And there is only one reason why.

He always assumes I want money. That money can replace my desire for a mother, for a female figure who will guide me through the darkness. All he can provide is money. He assumes that because I use the money, that I'm happy, that I don't spend night hunched over my toilet bowl physically sick to my stomach with the guilt of killing my mother. He assumes that because I have friends, that the smile on my face is genuine. That because I smile and confidently stride out of my room in a bikini, that I love myself and the way I look. He assumes everything about me, because he doesn't know me. I'm his daughter, and with the simple fact, he assumes that by just looking at me he knows my every thought. Does he know of the blood I spill when I have no other method of coping? Does he know of the times I sit and ponder about what it would be like to go through death? Does he know that when he leaves for work, I cry myself to sleep and wish for a mother? Does he know that I could care less about him? I hate him. But he loves me. Does he know, that through all this mess, I just want a mother. Because according to Disney, mother knows best?

We sometimes spend the biggest part of our lives regretting, complaining, crying, beating ourselves down and wishing that our lives were different, or we were some else or living lives the lives that others are living because of the pain, undesired events ,sorrows, disappointments and sometimes the most shakingly wrong way things turn out . But just WHAT IF , just WHAT IF all those painful events , the ones we don't desire are just the process, to prepare us to what we actually deserve, to our right places where life will be the sweetest so all we have to do is just trust the process.

I cried again. Because of the same reason. " Why am I so bad luck? Why can't I be happy? " Until one day I met this guy. He smiled to me. His smiles. I want to live with his smile everyday. ____________________________________________ ( I put it as Matured contain because it contains a lot of self harm and strong words. Not suitable for those who was below 18.. But if you want to read it, hope you don't mind about it. )

[COMPLETE- short story] IN PROCESS OF EDITING [WARNING: contains violence, many deaths, and some strong language. If you are not comfortable with that, I'd advise you NOT to read it AND THIS IS A SHORT-STORY!] INSPIRED BY THE SONG: "Please Don't Cut by MikeIWJ Cover made by Brisa2321 When we pulled back, I smiled at him, getting up. "Remember, there's never a goodbye. There's only a 'See you later'. So, I'll see you again Austin. I promise." * * * Alyssa King certainly wasn't your average teenage girl. Austin Kyle certainly wasn't your average teenage guy. Both of them have experienced heart break like no other. Both of them have been through a lifetime of Hell. And yet, there's only one small little difference between the two. One of them, chose to give up. And the other is on the very edge. So what happens when the two troubled souls cross paths? What happens when you mix in death with love? What happens when you realize the gift of life? Well, let's just say these two are going to learn what giving up your life, truly means.