Hopeless Romantic

Dear Diary,

I guess I started this cause I always loved to write out my thoughts... but I feel like this will be a much healthier alternative to drinking/smoking my pain away. I get in these moods every month it feels like over the same thing... people not respecting me, and how I feel. Mostly the person I'm with right now and I won't even put his name in here cause I'm manifesting I'll find me a partner way better than this. It's so crazy because this is someone I imagined the rest of my life with, but now I see nothing but a blur of my future. What's even more frustrating is that we were finally on the right track - my business was booming, we got our first place, we were even blessed enough to travel the world together! But nothing was ever enough, no matter what we did together in the last ten years.

I've started to drink more, smoke heavier. Anything to drown my thoughts of everything I've put myself through all these years. The women, the lies, the yelling, the pain, I could blame him all I wanted.. but the truth was, I allowed him to think I was weak enough to be played with. And I honestly can't say why, all I can say is the love I have...well honestly, had for him was strong enough to hold us together for ten more years.

Yet, my heart literally can't take anymore. I can no longer be a Hopeless Romantic.

Imani closed her journal, running her fingers along the creases as she sighed. At her shaking leg sat her cheetah print suitcases, almost covering the whole dark, cold bedroom. She had no idea what she was doing at the moment but it felt.. necessary. After ten years with a man who simply didn't respect her, she had to find a way to love herself again. But how could she do it with little to no money to her name, only a dream and a plane ticket?