Midnight Musings

Midnight Musings

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WpMetadataNoticePublikasi terakhir Sab, Okt 8, 2022
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Lying awake in bed, as a teen, is... hard. Specially when you care nothing about high school drama, or crushes, or other stuff that you're supposed to care about. When you lie there, and think of how messed up everything in this world really is. When you lie awake and wonder and marvel at the point of existence and find no reason or rhyme. When your mind wanders off to that boy in the skate park that fell down and didn't get up for an hour, or the girl who you found crying in a bathroom stall. When you blink your eyes and clench your fists and regret that you didn't offer your hand to them because you didn't know how. I've wanted to change the world, and then not so much, because I realised I wouldn't be able to fix it all. But in those days, of hopeless sorrow, or intense hope, or even the rare happiness - my midnight musings have always brought forward thoughts that I didn't want to lose. And therefore, now I give them to you, dear reader, in hopes that you will keep them alive and well and.... there. This is a book of poetry, but it is also a present. From me, To you.
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poeticjustice
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Release

This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.

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