Her Greatest What If
- Reads 636
- Votes 80
- Parts 31
MatureOngoing5h 4m
Last published Tue, Sep 28, 2021
"If I held your hand back then... would you still be mine?" I slowly asked. I bowed my head because right now, I can't look at him with my bloodshot eyes.
"Perhaps..." He responded but didn't look at me.
I bit my lip to stifle a sob. Seconds later, I nodded slightly, turned my back from him, and started to walk away.
He's getting married a few days from now. He's about to tie the knot with someone else when that should have been me in the first place. But what can I do? I lose my chance then. I'm losing again, now. Maybe in this lifetime, he's just bound to be my greatest what-if. Pagod na rin ako. Panahon na siguro para sumuko...
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They say when you fall in love, there's no denying it. Falling in love is the most special thing in the world, because standing before you is the one you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Once, I did believe that, with everything of my very being. It was incredible, undeniable as had once been said. Our wedding was so beautiful, touching some would say. I'd never seen a man cry before that day. Then things changed. I lost feeling as I became trapped, unable to pull from the web surrounding me. I would scream, yet nobody heard a thing. Cry, yet nothing changed. Fight, but I always lost. "Say you love me." I remember telling him. He would always say he did, then the beatings started again and I was back in a cycle of torment and pain. I had given up completely. Then one night, things changed. A miracle some would say, as the monster before me was no more. The car wreck had saved me. The memories and nightmares would still haunt me though. Overtime I tried to be happy, but his face, his hands, his spit, all the memories kept coming back. I never thought I'd be able to get away. I lost all belief in love and beauty. All I saw was destruction as I locked myself away from the pain waiting to creep back in. I spoke of this to nobody, and with that meant I stopped speaking all together. I shoved those who cared away, because I was scared. I'm still scared, but yet again, things changed.
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