Rants and such

Rants and such

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Dec 31, 2016
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Non-Fiction
Tired. Stressed. Hungry. Aggravated. Angry. pathetic. Bitter. Childish. Cold. Disappointing. Disgusting. Hurt. Irritated. Anxious. Depressed. Dejected. Disturbed. Embarrassed. Gloomy. Hollow. Hopeless. melancholy. Sad. Serious. Sober Somber. Upset. I'm insecure about my thighs. My face. My legs. My eyes. My toes. My thoughts. my feelings. My eyebrows. My cheeks. Everything. I love food. I hate my body. I'm too fat to be pretty. I'm sorry that i'm ugly and fat. I try to be better. i want to be good enough for once in my life. I'm not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not food enough. not smart enough. not talented enough. Not popular enough. That's whats on my mind all day everyday. Honestly there's so many things in my life I worry about. Why am i not some musicians cute girlfriend who takes pictures backstage at gigs and hangs around the band and looks really fashionable and makes all his little fangirls jealous like wow I hate everything. This is such an issue. Why am i so stupid. Why am I so worthless. Why am i such a waste of space. I have nothing going for me and I know it. I have nothing in store for my future. I have nothing. I am nothing.
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

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