Lorem and Fiduciam
- Reads 4
- Votes 1
- Parts 1
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Aug 29, 2021
It was too much to handle, too much to feel but especially new. I wasn't ready, I wasn't prepared to face all these new and surprisingly bad and good things.
It's the first in my life that I feel like I am the main character. It's the first time in my life that I made decisions that I've always been the girl who helped others to live their moment, I was the friend that I've always wanted to have because this is what I was thought to do. ''Be the friend you want to have'' I heard, but did it actually help? I don't know... only time will actually tell me if all of this is worth it.
Do you know the calm before the storm? Do you know that scene when the butterfly peacefully in the woods before she got suddenly eaten by a lizard... Well, I'm the butterfly in the story.
Yes, yes pretty to see hard to catch they said but turned out I wasn't that hard to catch.
I've spent the majority of my childhood and the begging of my teenage years in my room surrounded by different kinds of books, living all types of experiences through those touchy words and my imagination, love, fantasy, mystery... and when I look at all this, what happened and what's happening in my life. I feel like I've been indirectly manifesting the typical Wattpad love story and when I've finally moved away to accomplish what I've always wanted to have, it happened... all at once, leaving me wondering what the heck I am supposed to do.
It all started 2 weeks before my birthday.
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Maybe
An internal voice whispered, "Call him." But I chose not to. I dismissed it once more, saying, "He never liked me anyway." Yet the dilemma lingered. "But maybe he does. The way he looks at you... it's different." Out of nowhere, he glanced my way. My heartbeat quickened, sending shivers down my spine. I averted my gaze, pretending to look around. "Has he noticed me? No, wait-oh my god." --- After switching high schools, Nina discovered a new way of life. She fell in love, made wonderful friends, and everything seemed perfect. But Ethan-a popular boy who never focused on anyone but her-was the object of her hatred. He was always there, always keeping her safe. He used to annoy her endlessly. She hated him deeply. Until she didn't. For a while, she was content with her high school experience. That is, until something mysterious turned her world upside down. Forced to move to a new city, Nina had to cut ties with everyone she once knew. Eight years later, fate brings her face-to-face with him again. "Ethan..." He's the key to everything-the truths she never knew. When she was lost in the dark, he always held the light. But now, things are different. She despises him. He's colder than ever. Or perhaps she fears him. Fears that he'll leave her again. Will their lives ever return to normal after everything they've endured? "Maybe?" "Maybe yes. Maybe no?" --- Started: 8 November 2021 Ended: 19 December 2022 Rewritten: December 2024 --- ### Rankings Goals So Far: #1 Adolescente #1 given up #1 blinddates #1 pretend #10 twistedromance #50 high school romance --- ### Notice: This is my first published story, and it contains numerous grammatical errors and bad editing. If you're interested in the storyline, please don't judge me too harshly based on this book. Better stories are on the way-I'm still learning and improving every day. Enjoy! ✨Complete![Til Death Tears Me Apart Once Again [Discontinued]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/177422415-256-k807950.jpg)
Til Death Tears Me Apart Once Again [Discontinued]
"If I'm going to die anyway, there's no point in trying to live." A typical reincarnated into a villainess story, except the protagonist isn't your typical 'I want my happy ending protagonist', but a death seeker. XX 《'Til Death Tears Me Apart, I Will Always Love You》is a very successful otome game. As much praise and admiration the game recieves, it is also, however, notorious for being absurdly difficult. One wrong step and the player would be drowning in an ocean of death flags, for both the Heroine and the Capture Targets. Anything short of perfection wouldn't even get the player a glimpse of a happy ending for the Capture Target the player chose. Enter me; Just a simple, normal girl reincarnated into a game as dangerous as that, as the villainess no less. Destined to die no matter what, I think there's no point in me trying to fight fate. If I'm going to die regardless, might as well die sooner rather than later. But that desire for death causes more than just a few changes to the definite plot; From little ones that have no effect at all, to life changing ones that may destroy the world of Arraxus. So the God of the world makes a deal with me: They'll give me a peaceful and happy afterlife, as long as I get a happy ending for myself. "Let the game begin!" -- Discontinued.Complete
Untitled Fears
I was close to dying if not from my sister. I went from bitches at school to my alcoholic, addict abusing mother. Then my best friend decided he wanted stop be part of the crew that cries for me to give me another reason to live. I didn't want another one but...it feels nice. Warning: This is rated MATURE for a reason. Mentions of cutting, abuse, alcoholism, bullying, gayness, and Gacha pictures because they help me visualize my characters better. If any of these things make you uncomfortable, get the hell away from my story, no one said you had to sit here and read this. I am not a professional writer but I did try with what my pain and emotions gave me. The entirety of the story is explained over time so if you want to sit and read, be my guest. Our protagonist is Ryan and let's just say he's gonna go through hell and back.Complete
Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Complete
Trapped in my Worst Novel
Protagonists, the most important characters in stories. They're the ones that are supposed to save the world and be a symbol of hope for humanity, the ones that can defeat anything in their way if they want to, the ones whom the reader wants to win and succeed... ...Well atleast thats how a good heroic protagonist should be. I wrote three novels after dropping out of college at 20 years old. My first novel was a disaster, boring characters, recycled plot, and a protagonist so rude even I wanted to punch them. The next two? Absolutely amazing and really well-liked. I was ready to quit writing for good when i suddenly got hit by a car and woke up in someone else's body, someone i don't recognize at all, who goes to the exact same school from my first novel. Yeah. That happened, i'm screwed. Great. Now I'm stuck in a world full of arrogant, clueless students. Why couldn't i have entered one of my better stories?! And if that's not enough, the soul of this body won't stop yelling at me to "give their body back", as if i could do that, while a tiny version of them sits on my left shoulder and a tiny version of my 19 year old self from my past life rides the right shoulder. What even is happening anymore? Sigh...
Who We Were
It's not been an easy year. Not in the slightest. But things are slowly returning to some kind of fucked up normality I guess. Though even this is better than 8 months ago so I'll take the slight improvement. One other person's lapse of judgement has altered my life in way's I'll never really understand but this is my life now. I know I'll be okay. I have to be. 16 other people weren't okay. I was. By some chaotic otherworldly reasoning beyond my control, I'm okay. I'm ALIVE. Fucked in the head or not, I'm not letting it stop me. ~~~ Aria Clarke hasn't had the best year of her life. When one fateful night, she turns into an underpass and her car is dead center of a huge collision, killing everyone on sight but her. Almost a full year into her recovery, after spending 9 months being judged and tormented, swallowing pills to numb the effects, therapy appointments and learning to live her life with her new scars, she craves normality. Anything. Just one person to treat her how she used to be. When one of her closest friend drags her on a double date, that's the plan. Normal. Be normal. As Cameron spends his weeks with Aria, her walls crumble and she lets him in, showing him the darker side to her life and when he embraces it with open arms, things couldn't be more perfect. One accident later and Aria's world is flipped on it's head, sending her down a path that leads her 10,000 miles across the world and into the arms of her oldest friend. The years pass and with a new thriving life in her hands, Aria has a choice to make. Do you favour the people you knew in the past, or the ones who barely know the current you? After 4 years, no one really is the same as who they were.Complete
Love Shouldn't Hurt (My Personal Experience With Emotional Abuse)
Change to disclaimer: I censored their name because they were getting death threats. THIS BOOK IS COMPLETE In my younger years, I accepted toxic manipulation and emotional abuse as normal and a sign of love. I've dealt with lying and manipulation all my life but never classified it as wrong since it all came from someone I loved: my father. I never fought back because I was raised to put trust in him because we were kin. A decade later, I come across Wattpad with a warm and loving community, and through mutual friends meet THEM. We then start dating on and off and then finally break up. Before we do break-up, they made me vow to never tell anyone what I had gone through and discovered about them. I said yes without hesitation because I was still madly in love with them and stupidly loyal; but as two years pass I realize I promised to not tell anyone about their true self so they could continue to do what they did to me and to silence me because they knew I still had feelings for them and was formidably loyal. I became damage control so they could continuously drag in new weak-minded people like me and make them go through the same pain and groom them to shower them with attention every second of the day and when they didn't; they made them feel as if they were wrong. They made their lovers feel like they were the bad guy and insignificant at the same time. In Present day, this still haunts me to the point I only get a few hours of sleep. My ex isn't here now and I feel I must share not only as a way to warn readers of people like them and how his definition of love is actually far from the truth, but as way of closure for myself.Complete
The Journey... (A true Story)
"I can't do this anymore; I just can't!" A line said in almost every individual's life. We all at one stage in our life dealt with such pain; where dying is easier then living. But, it's all a rollarcoaster that we have to fight through. I was once a shy, scared and sad little girl and now I'm a confident, compassionate and cheerful young lady. But, I wasn't always like this; at many stages I was extremely depressed. I know this seems like the stereotypical teenager's story but it was something much much more. Give my story a read and lets ride the rollarcoaster together. You never truly know what can impact you the most. It could be a book or even another person. Never close yourself off to be alone because you're shutting yourself from the beautiful world we live in together. Expect the unexpected and always reach for the stars. I hope you guys ride along and we can over come any scenario together as one.Complete
An internal voice whispered, "Call him." But I chose not to. I dismissed it once more, saying, "He never liked me anyway." Yet the dilemma lingered. "But maybe he does. The way he looks at you... it's different." Out of nowhere, he glanced my way. My heartbeat quickened, sending shivers down my spine. I averted my gaze, pretending to look around. "Has he noticed me? No, wait-oh my god." --- After switching high schools, Nina discovered a new way of life. She fell in love, made wonderful friends, and everything seemed perfect. But Ethan-a popular boy who never focused on anyone but her-was the object of her hatred. He was always there, always keeping her safe. He used to annoy her endlessly. She hated him deeply. Until she didn't. For a while, she was content with her high school experience. That is, until something mysterious turned her world upside down. Forced to move to a new city, Nina had to cut ties with everyone she once knew. Eight years later, fate brings her face-to-face with him again. "Ethan..." He's the key to everything-the truths she never knew. When she was lost in the dark, he always held the light. But now, things are different. She despises him. He's colder than ever. Or perhaps she fears him. Fears that he'll leave her again. Will their lives ever return to normal after everything they've endured? "Maybe?" "Maybe yes. Maybe no?" --- Started: 8 November 2021 Ended: 19 December 2022 Rewritten: December 2024 --- ### Rankings Goals So Far: #1 Adolescente #1 given up #1 blinddates #1 pretend #10 twistedromance #50 high school romance --- ### Notice: This is my first published story, and it contains numerous grammatical errors and bad editing. If you're interested in the storyline, please don't judge me too harshly based on this book. Better stories are on the way-I'm still learning and improving every day. Enjoy! ✨
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