As I Thought So (Book 2)
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That moment when you are trying to heal, but it is just getting worst.
Where you cannot find peace at all. You felt messed up and more devastated. Thinking that love isn't real. But, it seems you are craving for it.
Yeah, I know the truth. But, why can't I move forward. I feel empty and missing. Even, how much I put my whole self at work, I feel like I am still in a blank space.
What do I really want? What will make me happy and be at peace?
~Mazee
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Not everything will be in our favor. People change, feelings change. I regret my decisions, I made her different. I cannot blame her, I hurt her a lot just to made her stay away from me. For her not to get in danger. But, I was wrong. The pain I brought to her made her lost and different. But, I love her and she will always be the one.
It is not hard to find someone else. But, my thoughts are filled with every inch of her. The only person who showed me the real love. I hope I can win her back. Yet, I am losing hope. So maybe, we are not really meant to be. Better yet, friends maybe?
I hope one day, she come rushing at my door in favor. And, I swear that I will do possible options for her to be mine again. Whatever it takes.
For now, I'll try to lielow. Made her realize my worth and the only one she needs afterall.
But, if it will not meant to be. I will let her go. If she finds her happiness without me, I will accept it. After all, it is me who made her like this.
~Dallas
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The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.
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