I Don't Want This (OCD)
- Reads 262
- Votes 8
- Parts 14
Complete Thu, Dec 18, 202547m
I was desperate. Frustrated. At a loss and almost spiteful. Sometimes, I still feel like I drive myself crazy reaching for some form of validation. Isolation is an intense and harrowing feeling. And yet, somehow, this accumulation of emotions led to me creating this WATTPAD story. A high schooler (at the time) in the pandemic. I wanted to know that I wasn't alone. Wanted to see some form of understanding. Wanted to be known by myself. I fixated on the internet, turning to various sites and media to find solace. Yet, it just didn't scratch right. It felt like no one was talking about what I was going through, like the stigma had far too much power for me to even know what I was going through myself. This is what motivated me to write. Gave me the courage to share my experiences. Having the courage to share so that someone alike to me will see they aren't alone. To humanize what is a very human experience. So, welcome and enjoy! This story may just become a collection if applicable..? Since, I don't believe I'll focus on my OCD as a center so much.
*Title art is not mine and came from a Pinterest google image I found*
TW: Sexual, infectious , Superstitious, pedofilic, and other subtype intrusive thoughts OCD graphic images described.
Mentions: Sexual assault, depression, anxiety, lgbtq+
All Rights Reserved
#697
ptsd
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Complete
Pieces of Me.
Hi there, how are you? I hope you're okay. Like the title says, this book is made of pieces of me, sort of like a diary. Each chapter has its topic, message and feeling. I write it as my life goes on, pouring my heart out, mentioning a lot of the past and situations I haven't overcome, voicing my struggles, wins and losses, lessons and pain. I hope this helps you somehow, I mean, if I'm gonna be posting my life anonymously on the internet I can try at least to help someone. Never forget, you are not alone. This is for you. Good luck :) *trigger warning*- please if you get triggered easily or are going through a hard situation don't read this book, specially the chapters: Puppy thoughts. The Need. -Sequel: Head High (on my profile)Complete
Second No More, a novel
I've dreamed of the perfect marriage ever since I was a little girl: a marriage complete with a hardworking husband while I tended to the home and our children, preferably four little rugrats to call my own. I dreamed of a life filled with laughter, joy, and success, a life we built together. I dreamed of growing old next to my husband, creating a great love story to tell our grandchildren someday. It all seemed so possible. I was raised to be the perfect wife, after all. From the outside, it seemed I had exactly what I dreamed of with the rich, determined husband; the brilliant, gaudy diamond ring; and the beautiful home filled with the hope of future children. Yes, it was all a dream come true. I should have felt grateful, really. The problem is, I also wanted a marriage based on love, passion, and affection, but those are the only things my husband cannot give me . . . . . . because they're reserved for her. For readers: * I do my best to proofread before publishing, but some typos and errors will slip through. Feel free to point them out! * Comments, active engagement, and helpful critiques are welcomed. * Mean, unnecessary comments that attack me, personally, or other commenters will be ignored and deleted. It takes a lot of courage to publish your work and for others to actively engage in a community. I'd like to keep this a safe and fun place to rage at imperfect heroes and cheer for darling heroines! * I'm not a spicy writer. I rather use my word count for plot, character development, and GROVEL!!! * Most importantly, I hope you enjoy the little world I'm creating. Happy reading, everyone! ADS/Imaginationgirl35Complete
The Great War
*Wattpad deleted my original and i have literally no idea why. There was no smut, rasicm,eating disorders, or anything triggering in my story except violence and some mild swearing. There are so many stories on this app that actually go against the guidlines and they took mine down :( Thankfully I have the Sequal backed up on another app i use for writing and can put it back up. Im still sad howver I was working so hard to finish it. I also want to let yall be aware despite the Maturity tag theres no real spice in this story. I put the mature tag on so they didnt come for me if they thought something was to descriptive. Anyways the real description:* "Let me fucking go you asshole!" The man had an Iron grip on my arm as he lead me through the hospital doors. All the nightmares, the feelings of something wrong came at me in a flash.Complete
~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedComplete
Screw Me Over ✔️
(Book one of the Screwed Series) MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY and please expect misspellings and plotholes. You have been warned! Only available on Watt pad! (We 'bout to be editing in this mug!) *** "I thought that having all of my best friends, including my sister, would be a great way of all of us to stay connected. I figured that we all still need each other after we all became legal adults. What closeness we had as teens was the same closeness we'd have as adults....or so I thought. Boy, was I wrong. " **** Living with roommates isn't easy in itself. Living with your best friends could be worse... Especially if you're living with 4 of them and their child. When you have that one mom roommate with lustful tendencies, another can't seem to get out of bed unless it's midnight, one that can't stop eating all the food in the house while another will rip the entire house to shreds if you get on her bad side, and that one roommate that acts like a prima-donna.... There's bound to be an earthquake in the tiny apartment. Game on. In order to maintain a stable household and environment, these five ladies have to come together and learn how to set boundaries for the household, their friendships, and their own lives. ⚠️Trigger Warnings: This book may contain some sensual scenes! Girl-on-girl play and such! There may also be signs of abuse, mentions of negative body image, racial situations, and mental illness in this story! Do not try any of these things at home! Remember that you are loved and valued! THIS IS AN 18+ STORY SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION!⚠️ ✨Accomplishments✨: -Honorary Mention in The 2020 Adobo Awards! 💜 -Honorary Mention in The 2020 Winter Rose Awards! 🌷 Written: January 2016 Completed: September 27, 2020Complete
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Complete
First Love, The Sinner & The Saint
Have you ever felt like life wasn't enough, like you were going through the motions day in, day out, all you wanted was a change. Well one day I woke up and made that change, I was no longer the well behaved boy that did as he was told, I was a new person and I wanted to do things my way. I wanted to do what made me feel alive, even if that was murder of innocent people, I wanted to grab someone and watch the life drain out of their faces, it pleased me.. it made me feel alive. This is my story of heartbreak and turmoil, friends lost and friends gained, families torn apart by my needs. This is my life, and I'm proud to be the man I am. Dated created 9th August 2020 Date completed 15th August 2020 Word count 50,000-60,000Complete
From Books I've Never Wrote
𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 <3 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 ! like the title says... this is nothing more than texts/extracts of books that I have never actually wrote. This is mostly a few thoughts or ideas that have spiralled through my head at some stage, and I've then typed them out on my laptop and published them to Wattpad. Feel free to read and give me your thoughts on whatever crap I have written down. Love from eIIoquence xx [highest rankings] #𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 #𝟯 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 #𝟰 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 #𝟳 𝗶𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺𝘀Complete
Perfect Fate ✔ (Moved To Inkitt)
Wattpad Creator! Happy and proud. HIM: Staying the night? Not my thing. Hearts and flowers? Boring. Falling in love? Not anytime soon. Settling down? Off the table. Getting married? You're kidding me, right? That was me before the night we first met. Because, well, meeting a hot chick that made me hard just by looking at her was definitely not in my plans when I sneaked out of a woman's apartment after what was already a long night. Taking her home and getting her a chocolate cake, though, was kind of intentional. But falling for her? Boy, that was pretty much inevitable. HER: He came out of nowhere, literally. I was there, sitting on that bench, barefoot and crying and just getting my heart broken in peace and silence. Then he appeared, all mad and furious and sexy and tall and just drool-worthy! And just like that, despite my poor attempts of escaping him, he had me wrapped in his world. A crazy yet heart-fluttering world, that I have absolutely no intentions of leaving anytime soon. ------- Character development is a main theme in this book. It shows you how they both work on changing for the better, while trying to overcome the obstacles in their relationship and fight for each other till the end. ** Warning!! Some chapters contain sexual scenes, but there's always a warning at the head of the chapter. Do not read them if you're under 18.** * Also, please beware that this story contains a lot of swearing. Read at your own risk. * **I don't own any photos used in this book. All are found on the internet for public use.** Highest Rankings: Sexy - #1 Love - #1 General Fiction - #41 Romance - #46 ------ ** Copyright © 2014 by Fanoshka Flippo (Farah Fekry). All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of Fanoshka Flippo / Farah Fekry. **Complete
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®
More detailsContent Guidelines