I Don't Want This (OCD)

Reads 194
Votes 7
Parts 13
Time 43m

Reads 194
Votes 7
Parts 13
Time 43m

I was desperate. Frustrated. At a loss and almost spiteful. Sometimes, I still feel like I drive myself crazy reaching for some form of validation. Isolation is an intense and harrowing feeling. And yet, somehow, this accumulation of emotions led to me creating this WATTPAD story. A high schooler (at the time) in the pandemic. I wanted to know that I wasn't alone. Wanted to see some form of understanding. Wanted to be known by myself. I fixated on the internet, turning to various sites and media to find solace. Yet, it just didn't scratch right. It felt like no one was talking about what I was going through, like the stigma had far too much power for me to even know what I was going through myself. This is what motivated me to write. Gave me the courage to share my experiences. Having the courage to share so that someone alike to me will see they aren't alone. To humanize what is a very human experience. So, welcome and enjoy! This story may just become a collection if applicable..? Since, I don't believe I'll focus on my OCD as a center so much. 
    
    *Title art is not mine and came from a Pinterest google image I found*
    
    TW: Sexual, infectious , Superstitious, pedofilic, and other subtype intrusive thoughts OCD graphic images described. 
    
    Mentions: Sexual assault, depression, anxiety, lgbtq+All Rights Reserved

Table of contents

I was desperate. Frustrated. At a loss and almost spiteful. Sometimes, I still feel like I drive myself crazy reaching for some form of validation. Isolation is an intense and harrowing feeling. And yet, somehow, this accumulation of emotions led to me creating this WATTPAD story. A high schooler (at the time) in the pandemic. I wanted to know that I wasn't alone. Wanted to see some form of understanding. Wanted to be known by myself. I fixated on the internet, turning to various sites and media to find solace. Yet, it just didn't scratch right. It felt like no one was talking about what I was going through, like the stigma had far too much power for me to even know what I was going through myself. This is what motivated me to write. Gave me the courage to share my experiences. Having the courage to share so that someone alike to me will see they aren't alone. To humanize what is a very human experience. So, welcome and enjoy! This story may just become a collection if applicable..? Since, I don't believe I'll focus on my OCD as a center so much. 
    
    *Title art is not mine and came from a Pinterest google image I found*
    
    TW: Sexual, infectious , Superstitious, pedofilic, and other subtype intrusive thoughts OCD graphic images described. 
    
    Mentions: Sexual assault, depression, anxiety, lgbtq+

13 parts