Messages to Ethan.

Before you start to read this story, I need to tell you a bit of my past. This story is all of the messages I wanted to send to my long time crush, Ethan. I want to share this with you in order to let out my emotions. Ethan is my best friend. We met when I was in 6th grade (I am in 8th grade now). We didn't officially become friends until the summer of 2014. We clicked instantly. I told him of my crush on him and he didn't think of me that way. I was okay with being friends with him as long as I was able to text him and know that he was safe. Then school started. Ethan became busy and my friends were pressuring me to drop him and start dating other guys to get over him. I complied but I wanted to still text him. I started to date this one guy, Jeremy. He was really sweet but then a few weeks after we started dating, he became really possessive and abusive. I wasn't allowed to talk to my friends or anyone, text anyone or look at anyone besides him. He would constantly check my messages but wouldn't check anything else. I was forced to cut off all contact with Ethan. It nearly killed me. I became very distant and turned to writing down messages I wished I could've sent to Ethan. I finally got out of that relationship. It took me a week to gather the guts to text Ethan. I text him yesterday. I still write down what I want to send to him. These are my messages.