Messages to Ethan.
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- Parts 1
Before you start to read this story, I need to tell you a bit of my past. This story is all of the messages I wanted to send to my long time crush, Ethan. I want to share this with you in order to let out my emotions. Ethan is my best friend. We met when I was in 6th grade (I am in 8th grade now). We didn't officially become friends until the summer of 2014. We clicked instantly. I told him of my crush on him and he didn't think of me that way. I was okay with being friends with him as long as I was able to text him and know that he was safe. Then school started. Ethan became busy and my friends were pressuring me to drop him and start dating other guys to get over him. I complied but I wanted to still text him. I started to date this one guy, Jeremy. He was really sweet but then a few weeks after we started dating, he became really possessive and abusive. I wasn't allowed to talk to my friends or anyone, text anyone or look at anyone besides him. He would constantly check my messages but wouldn't check anything else. I was forced to cut off all contact with Ethan. It nearly killed me. I became very distant and turned to writing down messages I wished I could've sent to Ethan. I finally got out of that relationship. It took me a week to gather the guts to text Ethan. I text him yesterday. I still write down what I want to send to him. These are my messages.
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I got more and more annoyed as he drove up, parked and unmounted his bike. He pulled off his helmet and shook his head, noticing me there staring at him. We just stared at each other, neither moving, neither speaking. He started to make his way up his driveway, not even bothering with a greeting, so I called out to him. "Hey! Where've you been?" I tried not to sound accusatory or angry, and I succeeded. Though I sounded more hurt than anticipated. He stopped and walked towards me. He walked kind of slowly, like he was trying to avoid me. I stood on the steps, fighting the urge to walk towards him so we could talk. Never ever did I think I'd want to talk to him, yet here I was. Once in front of me he stayed at the bottom step, not climbing up further. He said nothing and I repeated my question once again, "Where have you been?" He shifted then just replied with "Out." "Out?" I repeated, getting refueled with annoyance. "That's it? You've been missing all day and all you have to say is you were out?" "Fuck, dude, what are you, my mom? I was out! Are you trying to keep tabs on me or something?" I was angry at him, and started to feel feelings towards him that I haven't felt in months. I stepped down two steps to look at him eye level, ready to argue with him. But, rather than open my mouth to fight, I found myself staring at his tired gaze and freezing for a moment. I didn't want to fight with him, and I saw he didn't want to fight with me-at least, that was my hope. I let my glare fall and closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around him in the tightest hug I could muster. He seemed shocked, remaining rigid in my arms until I quietly muttered, "I was worried about you, jackass," into his neck. He just sighed before relaxing and hugging me back.
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