What is this feeling?

Hi, my name is Dusk. I'm 5'7" with a loving mother and father. I'm an only child, I love anime, I'm a YouTuber that currently has 316 subs, I have a pet cat and hamster. Seems like a decent life to you right? Wrong, now let's add in everything else. My mother has fibromyalgia and diverticulitis, works full time, and battles anxiety. My dad works at Biola full time, just recently got a promotion, and is working even more which sometimes causes him to overwork. My mom and dad are balancing me and checks and taxes and half the time don't have the money for us to do the things we want to do. Now let's come over to me, I'm battling anxiety, suicidal thoughts, loneliness; mainly when I'm at home, not being accepted for being part of the LGBTQ+ community, and overthinking. I worry about my parents taking care of me and I feel like I'm such a burden because I feel like the reason they don't have the money to do things they want to is because I exist and because they have to care for me and what I do. I feel like the world would be a better place without me. My parents would be happy, my friends wouldn't have to deal with my weirdness and craziness, the world would be so much better without me.

If you're reading this you're too late. I've withered away from this world. Maybe I could've tried harder, maybe I could've seen, but I didn't, I gave up. I hope you're happier without me. I'll miss you all dearly.

-Dusk Rudforth-
-March 25th, 2021-