pouring out my heart at 4 a.m
- Reads 5
- Votes 1
- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Tue, Dec 16, 2014
i feel that
everything i treasure
has been built from false hope
maybe because i doubt many things
or
maybe because i doubt nothing at all.
maybe because the one thing i want
is a lost cause i don't know
far out of reach
and when i sit
foreboding chokes me
and burns my lungs.
someday i hope to sit on a porch
listening to the rain
and counting petals
feeling a lover's fingers
trail across my pale skin
and breath on my neck.
someday i wish
to love life
without disliking it all the same.
i am addicted to these hopes
like a smoker with nicotine
or an alcoholic with gin
and surely
just like those things
these hopes will be the death of me.
my mind is young
yet my thoughts are ancient
and my body is tired
tired of hoping
tired of thinking
tired of feeling.
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It feels like I'm living in a world full of lies... My life is full of lies. My life is wreck. My life is a disaster. I want to run but I can't. There holding me back. They keep me chained to this horrible place. The pain they give me is unbearable but I need to survive this hell hole just to escape. It seems like there lies are already enough to give me pain but they don't stop there. They keep doing it as if they want me to be dead from this pain. I was alone. At least I thought I was. Until he came. He was my new neighbor. He is an irresistible bad boy. When he came into my life it was just like your car crashed into a concrete wall and you went flying because of the impact it made. Well that's how its gonna be when he crashed into my miserable life. And he made a big impact and changed my whole life...
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