The girl of his dreams

What's up my dude's... I'm sorry lol. Moving on this is the first thing i will ever publish so if one day i make it big everyone will look back on this, that's kinda scary anyway. I will now give a summary of the first 1 1/2 chapters (bc that's all i have written yet). Idk if you can edit descriptions later on but if you can i will elaborate, OK HERE IT IS

After Tristan asks Rory to go to PJ Harvey she runs of with Tristan following close behind, once they make it to her stop and the bus it's there Rory have a mental breakdown. Tristan comforts her and drives her to ihop for an after school snack. After late lunch they head to stars hollow where a surprise guest was waiting for them....to be continued

Ok so what did you think, ya it wasn't great but I really want YOUR fead back. I have the outline for the story but if there is a detailed that i should add pls comment it. I'm am a VERY new "writer"
If you could call me that so for the story to be good i need you help/criticism.
Btw I don't own the rights to the Gilmore girls characters/Gilmore girls story line.
However i do own the rights to all creative story line.