Young and Beautiful

In the past eighteen years of my life, I have experienced loss, grieves, joy, and love. I have experienced love from my parents, siblings, distant families, and friends. But one thing that is always missing is love, a love that makes you feel butterflies and makes you feel like time is endless. I know I am young and I am not ready but no matter how much I avoid it, I know that deep inside my soul, I also want to feel that type of love.

I envy my friends. Every time I see them, I envy how they are willing to give and trust their partners because for me I feel like I won't be able to do that. I feel like my heart can't handle the burden, happiness, and pain all at once. I don't think I can handle losing someone I love and experiencing all those new emotions that come with it. I will not like the way it will make me feel. I will not like how it will change my personality. It is very dangerous no matter how much I want to try. I don't think I'll be able to handle it. So no matter what happens, I, Katrina Lee, have decided to avoid being with someone. I will avoid love.