Thoughts I Never Posted

11/23/2014-

I hadn't seen you in months.

Months! Can you believe it's been that long?

From everyday together, for years, to never at all?

God knows if I even remember the night properly. I can't even count how many substances were in my system.

I wasn't expecting you. You weren't supposed to be there. Hell, you were never supposed to be anywhere you showed up to.

I couldn't see straight, but that's okay. I was feeling on cloud nine! Just like you do! Can't you see how much I've changed?

You hugged me, an embrace so strong it could have snapped me in half. A thousand words were said in those thirty seconds.

But nobody knows what those words are. Not even us.

I miss you? Who are you? Why are you here? What are you on? Do you remember me? You got tall?

"I missed you! How have you been?" Don't. I wasn't sober, but not that far gone.

"You too." What are you doing here?

I hadn't prepared myself! I wasn't expecting you here! I haven't thought about you in months!

It was scary to realize how quickly things had changed.

Because, two years ago, I would never have even been at that party. I knew better two years ago, would never have found it enticing.

But then again, four years ago, you never would have been at that party either.