Why Can't I Disappear?

How can one disappear from the face of the earth whilst they are covered in colour?
Why can't I turn invisible just to see if someone would notice?
Why can't I shut down my feelings when he speaks to me like I'm built of nothing but straw?
When will maturity be enough for my mouth to finally discipline itself to shut up?
When will he realise that all he says storms in my head and stays there like an ongoing cyclone?
Who can listen and have no judgement about what I feel?
Who will lead me to a place where I don't judge myself?
How can an extrovert HIDE THEIR ENTIRE BEING?????

Fair warning: Text inconsistencies included...