OXYTOCIN [ t.c ]
  • Reads 716
  • Votes 58
  • Parts 11
  • Time 1h 25m
  • Reads 716
  • Votes 58
  • Parts 11
  • Time 1h 25m
Ongoing, First published Oct 08, 2021
It doesn't take me seconds to ruin a person's life. What I didn't realize was that my life is being ruined too, step-by-step, which is worse than a matter of seconds. I don't find myself trying to give attention to what my brain and heart feel, unless and until it's hatred, unbound and anger, all the negative emotions you can think of, and all the shit you feel when you drink and smoke.

As a result of those emotions, you're numb.

This is where it ends.

[WARNING: STORY CONTAINS; VULGAR LANGUAGE / SEXUAL CONTENT / MENTAL HEALTH / DRUG USAGE / VIOLENCE]

Oxytocin by newyorknightss
All Rights Reserved
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Today I want to die. Not because of anything in particular or specific, but just because the utter thought of ceasing to exist sounds devastatingly euphoric. To make the noise stop. To stop this stabbing pain in the lowest pit of my stomach that's causing a burning sensation that crawls all over my skin, making me want to peel it off. To stop the guilt that festers every time I take a breath-- an oxygen thief. To stop the constant urge to detonate over anything and everything that dares to love me because in all-- I could never deserve such an honor. Today I want to die. For the longest time, I thought I was just unlucky. That sometimes life doesn't work out for everyone, and for people like me; things just never get better. I had settled into the life of being unlucky, reveled in it, and found comfort in knowing that no matter what; I would just be categorically unlucky. That was until I realized luck had nothing to do with it. It's karma. It's the idea of what goes around comes around, and what goes up must come down. Didn't some philosopher speak to that once? However, it isn't my karma. Well it wasn't at first-- somewhere down the line after all my wrongdoing I'm sure it has switched to mine. But I am the poor soul stuck with my father's karmic retaliation. The karma that he deserves has been thrown against me as some sort of sick cosmic joke-- I'm sure he'd actually celebrate and feast on the fact that once again, he still gets to hurt me even from his grave. Too bad I killed him before he had the chance to see. *Book One in the Karma Duet. Book Two is now in progress, titled: The Karma Study*
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𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝖩.𝖦 𝖷 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱 - cover
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sad or happy - choose cover
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Dominant【Gene X Reader】[ Completed ] cover

𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝖩.𝖦 𝖷 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱 -

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|| MATURE THEMES || "And you say "Did you even notice, that I, began, to bleed?" And it all goes out of focus, and I hear you start to scream. Help me. Help me. Why won't you help me?" - flatsound - "Well I was at a friend's, and that's the only answer your going to get, so quit asking!" I snap, and he just sits there in disbelief. I not only hated when people asked questions they already know the answer to, because it seems like they're trying to be smug about it, or have some egotistical strong belief that they know everything. "Help me, help you. I don't fully understand where you're coming from, but I'd like to get your perspective on things. We're going to be around each other for awhile so just open up a bit. I know your irritated because you don't want help, but nothings wrong with at least trying to explain what's happening." I was a bit taken back with his response, it was like my heart yearned to pour out all my secrets, and the deepest darkest thoughts that I keep hidden was threatening to spill out from my mouth. "We've known each other for what? Three days? And you think we have some unbreakable bond?" My body screamed to stop, but it was like first instinct. To push the people who love me, away, and people who want to get to know me better, away. Though I don't exactly enjoy this part of myself, but I know in my heart, that if I get involved with him, it'd only break my heart. ✙✙✙✙ STARTED : September 26, 2023 FINISHED : October 1, 2023 ✰✰✰✰ #6 johnnieguilbert 09/30/23 #174 depressing 09/30/23 #42 sad romance 09/30/23 #62 readatyourownrisk 09/30/23 #25 youtuberxreader 09/30/23 #5 probation 09/30/23 #4 housearrest 09/30/23