Story cover for It's Fairly Useless by killercookies2003
It's Fairly Useless
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Ongoing, First published Oct 11, 2021
Full Title: It's Fairly Useless to Read this Fake Book; It's Wiser to Wa-Spend Your Limited Time Reading the Real Books.

Main Character: Narrator

Who is the Narrator, you say?

Narrator informs, Narrator tells, Narrator shows, Narrator sings, Narrator swears, Narrator spills, Narrator spys, Narrator knows how not to lo-

"THOSE DON'T EVEN ANSWER THE QUES-!" Narrator exclaims.

Fine. 

Narrator is an awf-

"Did you say something?" Narrator raises a glittering turquoise eyebrow.

-ully good-looking, eccentric narrator who's named Narrator (The name is self-explanatory, why do I have introduce them?).

"Hmmph, I thought so!" Narrator remarks, leaning on their poor right hip side that looks like it can crumble down at any moment.

...Just stand properly; I can't waste my nonexistent, flying money on you. 

"B-But, look at their mint angel wings! I can't bear to see them fading into dust!"

Welcome to Narrator's useless fake book tellings and nonsensical ramblings.
-----------------------------

That whole thing is a joke. On impulse, I published a work for the sake of showing that there's a work under my bio. #notawriter
All Rights Reserved
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