words don't come that easy.

words don't come that easy.

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WpMetadataReadMatureKumpleto Wed, Jun 1, 20221h 47m
I've tried. but i've always failed to contain these thousand words in a few sentences, maybe im bad at expressing macro feelings in the few words that I'm limited to. you might think you know me enough because it's been a long time since i first waved at you and the love for the same artist started our very first conversation, but even i haven't discovered the colors of my existence yet, so why do you claim that you have? you think you've already uncovered the secrets and seen the scars and the marks and reached the origin of every preserved artifact in the treasures that i've kept hidden over the years but there's so much more that you would never even hear of. i've chosen to show you everything as a part of a happy story but will you ever know this? which words were rewritten and omitted out and which words are the part of the organic script which fits perfectly into the timeline. have you figured out yet who's the real director of my story? there's so much more to me than you think there is. poetry and prose and everything in between. 26.10.2021 - 01.06.2022
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Beloved quotes or sections from my readings. A local author asked me what I tend to read to get an idea of what I might write like. I drew a blank, but what I told him he was able to figure out I was more of a literary and not mainstream writer. I thought I might share what I'm currently reading to also hold myself accountable...to keep reading and make time for it. Him telling me that I was a literary writer made everything click as to why it takes me so long to read books. I typically go for very deep content...borderline academia...It's not easy reading...rich in content and thought...gets the gears going and is sometimes darker thought as well. So now I have made sure to throw in some fun books as well to lighten the mood and to make reading more enjoyable. I have just realized while documenting my reading that I am more or less doing research for my book.... And I haven't been giving myself credit. I think it's because I was reading these books anyways... But I knew that I was using them to try to help me write my book. But since it's an autobiography and it's fiction (sort of...mostly...pseudo-soft-sci-fi really) I wasn't thinking it was research. Does that make sense? And now I realize that it is. So I've been so hard on myself going slow... But this also doesn't have a time limit as a friend mentioned to me... And now that I realize I'm doing research for it and I'm not just picking between wanting to read recreationally and write with them being two separate things... I feel a lot better about the process. So now instead of saying I decided to read instead of write I can say I am researching in order to better write my book.

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