Healing

Sooner or later, I will heal, all the wounds will heal, my heart is going to be just one big piece and not a bunch of them. I will forget him, I won't love him, I will be just around nice people, but I don't think that I will manage to stay alive till then. Everything just sucks so much to be honest. So, I will reach all my goals in my next life, but what... what if this is our only life, what if after death, or souls stays dead, just like our body. My soul is tiered, I don't think that it would like to live, not now and not in another life. Why shouldn't I take the pain from my soul away, why should I stay alive and watch my soul suffer?