Why Am I Like This?

Part one:
It's really hard to relate to people when all you can do is focus on your personal flaws. Maybe that's why it's hard to make friends. All you can think is why you can do to feel better. But you can't. Your stuck. Alone. Feeling like nobody cares. But how can they. How can they when all they are focused on is making you feel worthless and pushing you all the way to the point where you want to die. They call depression a sickness. It can be fixed with some pills . But that doesn't help at least not for me. The only way I can feel better is when I'm asleep. But I still have to fear my nightmares. Ever since I started getting depressed I have had horrible nightmares. They get so bad to the point where I can't go back to sleep. But really no one can fix it except yourself. You have to want it you have to want the change. You have to find the tiny bit of happiness left and help it grow.