The Things I Have To Miss.

A look through the thoughts and wonders of a suicide casualty member. The after-thoughts of a self caused death. The regrets and satisfactions. The wishes that have been forfeit.

A book to briefly give view into the afterlife that was brought upon a person purposefully personally. Reasons why you shouldn't become one of those casualties, and reasons why some people may become one of those casualties.

A story to give you a sliver of relief from losing a loved one to such a horrible loss. A morsel of answers to some of which may be your question(s).

And remember, you are not alone through any of this:
Here's some suicide prevention hotlines:
Ireland/England/America: 116 123
Australia: 1800 55 1800
Canada: 18334564566
General: 50808 / OR / 8255

Please seek help if even slightly needed.