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Dear Ruth

Dear Ruth

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WpMetadataReadComplete Tue, Nov 23, 202115m
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Non-Fiction
Dear Ruth, It is the fourth of April and I am writing to you from the dirty backseat of a taxi cab. I am on my way to an interview with a new company called Digital Tech. Or maybe it's Digitech. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. As you know very well, I have been unemployed for quite some time now. If I get this job, I will be a big shot. Making the big money. Making it rain. I will be Jeffery Schwartz, head of digital affairs. Whatever that means. This is my first letter to you since rehab. It used to be just an exercise I was forced to do. "Write a letter to your mother, '' they said. "Tell them your feelings." Yeah, whatever. Feelings are for the weak. I don't know when it became so much more. I wouldn't say it's what keeps me sane, I would just say its what keeps me from going insane. Writing letters seems like such an ancient art considering that I studied technology in college. But I have found some sort of peace in pen on paper, my own personal zen. Who needs mediation when you have paper, right?...
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  • THE THERAPIST

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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